20 Years

Remarks: This article, a long piece, is not well written. It is not insightful and there is no new view offered. But I have to stress that I write it sincerely (not suggesting that I am not serious to the other pieces I have written) and wholeheartedly.


I am very glad that there is no significant development in Nina Wang estate battle today. I can manage to finish work earlier and arrive at Victoria Park at around 9pm.
I cannot manage to get inside the Victoria Park. I can only stand in the outer area.
I can neither see what's happening inside the park nor hear what the people on stage are talking about. But I am excited, really excited, when I heard Szeto Wah announcing that there are 150,000 people attending the candle light vigil for June 4. I should be glad that I can only manage to get into the outer area because it is an indication that there are really many people showing up. It is a record-breaking turnout.
I am just one of the small persons in the large crowd, but the power of this large crowd of small persons can make history and show the world that we have not forgotten even though the government wants us to forget.
I am glad that I was among one of them, paying respect to June 4 victims. In Hong Kong.

I keep recalling what has happened to me over the past 20 years these days. I was just a primary school student spending most of my time doing homework and playing video games. Similar to my classmates, I just did not care what was reported in the newspapers and TV.
What happened exactly this month two decades ago changed the way I and my classmates behave. We read newspapers and listened to radio news in schools even though the content was complicated and incomprehensible to us. In class, the teachers put aside the textbooks and told students about what was happening in Beijing. Some even broke down to tears before the students.
We understood that there were a large group of students living far away from us demanding better changes.
Back home, I watched TV news with my family. My brother, who is four years older than me, took to the street. The whole family watched and recorded the marathon concert 民主歌聲獻中華 (Concert for Democracy in China).
We always heard of the serious corruption in China. I got an impression that those living on the mainland were poor and backward, which is the reason for my father coming to Hong Kong. Seeing the students on hunger strike, we knew that there were people with true compassions fighting to make the nation a better living place. Hope. We really hoped that the nation would get rid of problems and better respect its people. The hope was growing stronger and stronger. Until it was crushed on June 4.

Throughout these 20 years, there are many changes in the society. My parents have not talked about June 4. My brother, who took to the street two decades ago, even believes that the crackdown is helpful to China’s present development.
Our schools do not about June 4. The history textbooks only briefly mention about it. Teachers are reluctant to talk about it. Students are unaware of it.
I am more aware that the students’ leaders have made mistakes and I was somehow affected by the negative comments against those who escaped to overseas countries. I was puzzled why some people always took to the street to express what they want and why some people gathered in Victoria Park year after year demanding a vindication of June 4. Yes, it is a tragedy and it is sad that the students died. But what’s the point of the vindication? How can the vindication “benefit” me? Shouldn’t we let bygones be bygones and move “forward”?
When I think deeper into it, I understand more. I am not saying that I got a very in-depth understanding of the nation and Hong Kong. I am still not familiar with China’s political and economic system.
China’s economic development is amazing. The living standard of many people has improved. China’s rapid growth is increasingly important to the future of Hong Kong. The nation has also made some tremendous developments. The space missions and the Beijing Olympics are among them.
However, we should not forget that the nation has impressed many with its problems. Put it sarcastically, we have learned melamine from the contaminated milk and other chemicals from other products scandals. We have learned how the poor people have their interest ignored because of corruption. We have learned that Chinese people are generous and sympathetic to the people in need from last year Sichuan’s earthquake, but we have also learned that how inhumane and uncivilized the government is as parents of children died from sub-standard schools are banned from expressing their grievances and no officials are held accountable for the construction of those schools.
And on this special day, we have learned from news that a sister whose brother was killed 20 years ago is banned from paying tribute. And we have the following item that makes me feel ashamed and question whether we really have a civilized history of 5,000 years.



Yes, we have to move forward. But how can we actually move forward if we do not dare to face and settle our past. Yes, China’s economic development is rapid. But that does not mean that we have to support and accept what we believe is immoral and wrong. Yes, the students’ leaders 20 years ago had erred. But this is not a justification for sending troops and tanks against the people. Yes, we have long history and our ancestors have taught us many good lessons that can convince other nations to respect us. But we have to stop all the ridiculous incidents if we want to make people respect not only our economic power. Yes, it is painful recalling the tragedy of June 4. But how can we teach history to our children and ask other people to respect history if we are not courageous enough to face our ugly past. Yes, we have seen corrupt and bad officials being arrested and removed from office. But there will be corrupted officials coming to power if we do not improve our system. Yes, there is no perfect system in the world and all countries have their own problem. But striving for excellence should always be our dream and ideal. Yes, we are benefited from the nation’s development. But we deserve to be respected and have our demands and views listened.

I have watched a public affairs program in TVB on how youngsters think about June 4. A secondary school principal said his school does not touch on the sensitive subject because there is no sufficient data on many things, such as the death toll of June 4, and a responsible educator should not only base on media reports when teaching.

This is such a RIDICULOUS comment. The reason behind the lack of sufficient data is because we do not dare to face our past. Isn't it our job to get the whole picture and collect information from our own sources, especially when officials are reluctant to do that? I am afraid that most historical events, not only June 4, will be forgotten if the officials are not willing to give us the data.

I am glad that I am born in the 1970's. I am glad that I was a primary school student in 1989. Not mature enough to understand what the students in Beijing were doing at that time, but I was able to watch news from media organisations which did not exercise self-censorship as they do today and I was able to know how my primary school teachers felt about the incident.

Last year, we had the successful Olympic Games. We had a massive torch relay in Hong Kong. We had a HKU student staging protest during the torch relay in HK and also demonstrations in overseas countries. A public affairs program by RTHK interviewed some youngsters who are proud of the torch relay. In the eyes of these youngsters, there are only positive developments in the nation.

I do not totally agree with the protesters. But how these youngsters talk worries me. I am glad that I am born in the 1970's and I have a different perspectives from these youngsters.

20 years now. 20 years. Not a short period of time. But I am willing to wait, and we have to wait. We must continue doing that year after year. We are doing that because June 4 MUST NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

I really like this song named 自由花 (The flower of freedom). English translation of the lyrics will come later.

忘不了的，年月也不會蠶蝕
心中深處始終也記憶那年那夕
曾經痛惜，年月裡轉化為力
一點真理，一個理想永遠地尋覓

We cannot forget, nor will time wear away our memory;
Deep in our heart we always recall that day in that year.
We felt the pain, but time has turned it into strength.
One bit of truth and one ideal are what we will forever seek.

＊ 悠悠長長繼續前航不懂去驚怕
荊荊棘棘通通斬去不必多看它
浮浮沉沉昨日人群雖不說一話
不想清楚分析太多真心抑意假

We continue on a long long journey but we know no fear.
We will cut away all hindering thorns, not minding them one bit.
People of yesterday went through thick and thin in silence;
They didn’t want to hear more reasoning, be it true or unreal.

＃ 但有一個夢，不會死，記著吧
無論雨怎麼打，自由仍是會開花
但有一個夢，不會死，記著吧
來自你我的心，記著吧

But there is a dream that will not die - remember.
No matter how hard it rains, freedom will still bloom,
But there is a dream that will not die – remember.
It comes from your heart and mine – remember.

忘不了的，留下了不死意識
深深相信始終會變真某年某夕
如此訊息，仍賴你跟我全力
加一把勁，將這理想繼續在尋覓

We cannot forget, as has prevailed our undying belief.
We deeply trust some day it will finally turn real.
This message, depends on you and me,
Doing our best, to keep searching for that ideal.