We are all beautiful

Today, I join a prayer meeting hosted by Hot Culture, a Christian group attended by some HK artists.

The prayer meeting is impressive, and refreshing to me, who need to take rest before God at the times of adversity.

My days are hectic nowadays, taking care of sick parents, even though I am on annual leave. I wake up early at 8am in the morning, making breakfast for parents, and I easily lost temper because I have to get everything done fast and quick, and I am easily irritated when my father suffering from Alzhimer can't even get dressed up properly.

I can spare some time reading the bible after the breakfast session, but in the afternoon, I have to prepare for dinner.

The lost of temper and the house work mean I do not have a peaceful mind, and I am depriving myself of quiet time to talk to God – even though I have read the bible.

And the prayer meeting today at least let me put my mind at rest, and focus on God.

The prayer meeting is not actually a meeting at all, but a place where there is worshippers singing. We are not praying in a group for a specific set of items, but we are praying individually, reflecting our relationship with God.

The whole prayer meeting is divided into several sections, in which each section is assigned a specific theme – ReCreation, RePent, ReLease, ReVoke, RePlace, ReVision. There is no sequencing order of which section to go first and last. You can choose out of your spontaneous thoughts.

I particularly like ReVision. I was given a set of seven-piece puzzle, and was asked to resemble five shapes and patterns using the puzzle. I only managed to resemble two patterns, and the remaining three patterns were too difficult to me.

And the main message behind the little exercise is that sometimes we admire some people because they have some gifts from God, and in my case, I admire people who have got leadership skills and musical talents.

But if you got yourself more involved in the exercise, you will realize that God makes you out of his own wish and he has his purpose for you. You can use your seven-piece puzzle to make patterns you like – a unique pattern, a unique pattern. Someone may dislike your pattern, but you appreciate it because it is your creation and it represents you. Someone may dislike you, but God appreciates you. No one is perfect, and especially in the eyes of human, we can always find out the wrong side of other people. But we are all the creation of God, and in the eyes of him, he loves us and we are beautiful.

And then I went to ReLease – a section dedicated to let us forgive other people. I am always frustrated by my elder brother and father, for I think they are selfish and have no sense of responsibility. They are all like patterns assembled by seven-piece puzzle, and from my perspective, they are not perfect at all. I certainly believe that I am full of defects from their perspectives. They are also God's creation and God will certainly find them beautiful. Why can't I accept them?

When I was wrapping up my encounter with God over the past decade, there were of course ups and downs. I only jotted down two downs – unhappy at work and unhappy at brother/ father, while I got more ups, namely baptism, the three years spent in Beijing, and God telling me that he has never abandoned me at this difficult times.

The three years in Beijing is no doubt and inevitably one of God's gift to me out of my expectation. I wanted to live a different life three years ago, and I moved to Beijing. I had never imagined that God would bless me in such a way during those years. I got one of my dreams, becoming a reporter working on China beat, realized and I got a vibrant Christian fellowship whose members are eager to support each other. I had never expected church life on the mainland, where religious freedom is improving but still not fully respected, would be so fruitful. The experience of having my brothers and sisters showing up and offering a helping hand is still kinda surreal. I will share my Beijing experience with you guys in later articles (probably I will open a new section dedicated to Beijing).

One Bible verse was sent to me. It is from Luke 18:27, “But he said, Things which are not possible with man are possible with God.” Yes, life is sometimes dull and difficult, but God is watching us and will make things possible.

Compare and Complaint

Joined a praise and worship session led by Heartbeat, a band newly formed by my BJ friends. The session triggered me to think how easily I get frustrated from time to time. It could be about anything – matters as trivial as meeting an impolite taxi driver and as serious as unable to get things done in the way you want.

The most serious frustrations is from comparison. Sometimes I feel disgruntled, asking why other people are living far better off while I work for long hours a day. Why some people live in a big house while I can only rent a tiny apartment? Where is justice and fairness? Why can't I find a right job and have a good wife?

The band read out a story which creation is based on Psalms 73.

Here are Psalms 73 – from the Message. (Note: The Message tries to explain the content of the Bible through vivid examples of daily life experience. But it is NOT an official Bible. For traditional version, please go to http://www.o-bible.com/cgibin/ob.cgi?version=kjv&book=psa&chapter=73)
Psalm 73
An Asaph Psalm

1-5 No doubt about it! God is good— good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it,
missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top,
envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about,
not a care in the whole wide world.

6-10 Pretentious with arrogance,
they wear the latest fashions in violence,
Pampered and overfed,
decked out in silk bows of silliness.
They jeer, using words to kill;
they bully their way with words.
They're full of hot air,
loudmouths disturbing the peace.
People actually listen to them—can you believe it?
Like thirsty puppies, they lap up their words.

11-14 What's going on here? Is God out to lunch?
Nobody's tending the store.
The wicked get by with everything;
they have it made, piling up riches.
I've been stupid to play by the rules;
what has it gotten me?
A long run of bad luck, that's what—
a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.

15-20 If I'd have given in and talked like this,
I would have betrayed your dear children.
Still, when I tried to figure it out,
all I got was a splitting headache . . .
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture:
The slippery road you've put them on,
with a final crash in a ditch of delusions.
In the blink of an eye, disaster!
A blind curve in the dark, and—nightmare!
We wake up and rub our eyes....Nothing.
There's nothing to them. And there never was.

21-24 When I was beleaguered and bitter,
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.

25-28 You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserters, they'll never be heard from again.
But I'm in the very presence of God—
oh, how refreshing it is!
I've made Lord God my home.
God, I'm telling the world what you do!

The author David is frustrated with what's happening around him. He knows God is good and God loves people, but he missed the goodness of God because of all the injustice in the world. Is God sleeping? If not, why does God turn a deaf ear to the people who are truly in need but give prosperous life to those wicked people?

But David changed his perception and gained new insights after “entering the sanctuary of God”. He knows God has his plan for every one of us, and he will not dump those who love him. God knows all the injustice happening here, and he will handle it one day.

What have I learned after entering the sanctuary of God? I think the crux to stop my frustration is to appreciate and stop comparing myself with other people. Yes, some people seems to be very talented who can coordinate things well and be a good leader, and some people are richer than me. I would be in financial trouble if I lose my job, while some people does not need to do anything for a living.

But I do appreciate what I have and what God has given me. God has a plan for every one of us, and he treasures each one of us. God provides us what we need.

Lets take a look at Matthew 6:26 (again, from the Message)

Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

Yes, I am not making much money and I don't have much savings after paying my rent, family and church, but the provision of God is abundance. Yes, sometimes I face difficult situations at work and I got worried about many things, but God gives me peace because I know he will lead me through the challenge.

Having said that, I don't mean God will take away all our problems. People still get sick and die, but God gives us peace to face difficult times.

我知道我的救贖者活著

我知道我的救贖者活著，
他是永活的主，
當我在深谷迷失時，
他領我走正義路。
我知道我的救贖者活著，
他是永活的主，
當我在曠野孤獨時，
他伴我作我的燈。

我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我心不再憂慮，
我要在每一個日夜中，
領受他的豐盛之愛，
我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我靈不再沉睡
當號角響起的那一天，
我將見他榮光之面。”
我知道我的救贖者活著，
他是永活的主，
當我在曠野孤獨時，
他伴我作我的燈。

我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我心不再憂慮，
我要在每一個日夜中，
領受他的豐盛之愛，
我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我靈不再沉睡
當號角響起的那一天，
我將見他榮光之面。

我為什麼相信基督教

我為什麼信？

來北京前，真的沒有預期會給人問到為什麼相信基督教。在香港，一向比較少跟朋友談宗教。以前一直覺得基督教在中國不太普遍。當初找到一家教會落腳就很開心。
但在北京，我曾多次給問到為什麼相信基督教。有人跟我說他在上海看到的基督徒都是很開心的人，又有人在閑餘讀聖經。

幾次給問到為什麼信，我都是簡單的一句「因為我相信是真的」就把問題輕輕帶過。因為不知道如何說起，也就沒有詳細解釋。

我想在這裡解釋一下。

我自小就相信造物主的存在，凡事冥冥中有主宰。小時候有上過教會，但後來又沒有上。中學就讀教會學校，學校有傳教的活動。我自稱相信基督教，但是其實不太知道基督教是什麼，對宗教也沒有什麼個人經歷。

中學六年級，我在哥的帶領下，再次返教會，後來比較穩定得出席教會活動，聽弟兄姊妹分享他們對基督教的認識及經歷，才開始思考信仰。

在大二時，要辦學生報。有一天，我要連續做2-3個訪問，下午要回校園上課。跟現在的工作相比，一天幾個訪問，實在不算什麼。但當時我覺得很忙。

我在想既然人最終會死，為什麼要那麼辛苦，幹嗎要做那麼多的事？何不馬馬虎虎過日子？又或者，人活著的意義是什麼？

基督教信仰的核心，就是相信上帝是創造天地萬物的主。而人都犯罪，但上帝的兒子耶穌基督就來到世間，為人的罪給釘在十字架上，洗淨人的罪。上帝是愛人的，祂終會有一天接我們到天家。上帝是愛人的，人的一言一行祂也看在眼內。

這是一個很重要的盼望。就是這個盼望，讓我知道，人不應該馬馬虎虎過日子，因為天父在看顧我們的每一天，而且祂在將來會接我們。人不是過了今生就算，是由將來的。

既然上帝安排耶穌為人釘十架，就證明他是愛人的，祂不會置人於不顧。

「你們看那天上的飛鳥，也不種，也不收，也不積蓄在倉裡，你們的天父尚且養活它。你們不比飛鳥貴重得多嗎？」（馬太福音6章26節）

上帝真的很看重人的。

不是說信主後，所有困難都會消失。基督教所宣揚的，是人在面對困難時，內心有神所 給的平安。我剛來北京沒多久，食道經常感到灼熱疼痛。在網上查一下，發現這是胃酸倒流或食道癌的症狀。我的情況持續了兩個多月，吃了一些減胃酸的藥都沒 好。我一度非常驚，但後來透過不斷的祈禱，我更確定了無論檢查的結果如何，上帝一定會幫助我面對，人的心就平安了。檢查結果是胃酸反流，吃藥後就好。

胃酸反流後，我發現我的體重下降了7kg。剛好我的一個朋友當時給診斷患上淋巴癌。淋巴癌的症狀之一，就是體重在半年內下降10%。我又開始驚了。當時我心想：「上帝，袮是不是在玩啊？我再向香港平平安安，怎麼來到北京就常常出事了？」又經過一輪禱告，內心又平安了。
「但我復活以後，要在你們以先往加利利去。」（馬可福音 14章28節）

「門徒來叫醒了他，說，夫子，夫子，我們喪命啦。耶穌醒了，斥責那狂風大浪。風浪就止住，平靜了。」（路加福音8章24節）

主耶穌是比我們先走一步。祂被釘十架前，已經經歷過種種苦難。在釘十架時，祂歷盡悲痛。我相信，我們現在經歷的種種困難，主已經經歷過，並跨越了。這位連風浪都可以止住的主，是有能力，也必定會幫助我們。

上帝給人盼望，這盼望是在人面對困難的時候，祂會跟人一起面對。祂告訴我們，人是有將來的。盼望真的是很重要，沒盼望的生活很辛苦。