The Way I Think

繼續台灣

2012-01-19T14:48:00.007+08:00

我很喜歡台灣，很想再去這個地方。大選過後，更覺得他們有希望。

大選當日，我看網上直播。下午四時開票後，心情確實緊張，因為我相信，這場選舉真的是民意的反映，人家的總統真的是一人一票選出來的，點票未結束，都不能確定誰勝誰敗。不像香港的特首，得勝的關鍵在於他能否取悅阿爺，選舉結果甚至可以在投票前確定。

遠在京城的我都緊張，難怪在台灣工作的朋友們都急不及待的在面書表達他們的興奮之情。畢竟，二千三百萬的台灣人可以用選票發揮他們的影響力及愛台之情，表達他們對台灣的歸屬感。當選的馬英九有689萬名選民支持，慘敗的宋楚瑜也獲得近37萬張選票。反觀在香港的豬狼混戰，八百萬市民中只有1200人可以投票選特首，即是說得勝者最多也只得1200人的支持，比敗戰的宋楚瑜還要少308倍。但他卻可以聲稱代表我。怎能不叫香港人為台灣喝彩，為自己悲哀。

一位朋友跟我說香港是有民主的地方，另一位朋友也不解為什麼香港人常覺得他們的自由與權利被侵犯。的確，每四年香港市民都可以投票選區議員及立法會議員。這看似非常民主，但請不要忘記，立法會有一半議席是功能組別，預留給特定界別的人士，不是由普羅大眾投票產生的。更何況，立法會的條例規定，政府提出的法案，只需要獲半數議員的支持便可通過。由議員提出的法案，則分別要在功能組別及地區直選兩個組別獲得過半數議員的支持才可通過，以致很多由民選議員提出的法案，因為過不了功能組別而被否決。

特首選舉，不用再說了，我根本不能參與。看見豬狼的胡言亂語，簡直令人無名火起。關於特首選舉的報導，我幾近不屑一看，不是記者行家們做得不好，而是因為一個很根本的問題 ﹣﹣ 我無從發揮我的影響力。我知道特首候選人的政綱，對香港或多或少都會有影響。我喜歡或討厭唐英年又如何，我不能用選票表達對唐英年的支票，亦不能用選票把他剔走。我關心其政綱的意義何在。

看見阿爺透過政商界大人物影響政局，這些有權勢的大人物與官方勾結，到處發表對官方有利的言論之餘，還想盡方法扭曲異議者的聲音，以換取阿爺給的好處，更令人懮心。最終這些人物勢力越來越大，形成霸權。將來政府要再就23條立法時，他們會否指鹿為馬？但擔心後，根本不能做什麼。

一張小小的選票，對我來說，有深遠的意義。它確認了公民參與社會與政治的權利，它使在位者重視我的看法，它使我與一個地方更加連結。不被重視的感覺很難受，只會增加一個人的無力感。

當然，民主不是所有問題的解決方案。民主，可能真的會影響施政效率。但我想借用龍應台的話：『如果說，民主政府的效率低，是的，那是因為政府必須停下腳步來聽人民說話，很費時間。可是，你要一個肯花時間來聽你說話的政府呢，還是一個招呼都不打就可以從你身上快速碾過的政府呢？』

民主的確可能會引起混亂。請想想，台灣成為一個可愛的地方，並不是一朝一夕的事。我記得，在20至30年前，父母都說台灣只是一個比沒有發展稍為好一點的地方。二三十年前的台灣，還是在白色恐怖的高壓統治時代。台灣在1987年解嚴，1996年開始首次總統直選，二十多年間，混亂一定有，黑金政治與立法議員打架罵戰更常見。但剛過去的台灣選舉，卻令人覺得台灣的未來是有希望的。過去的混亂，是一個過程，甚至代價。

我這次專誠去了兩黨競選總部參觀。兩黨義工都歡迎我，向我解釋他們為什麼要支持馬英九或蔡英文，又或批評現屇政府，而不擔心給人秋後算帳。香港人喜歡去誠品，除了是因為書店空間大之外，還因為誠品的書多，言論百花齊放，沒有什麼不能刊登的言論。政府要限制這些自由並不容易，因為它要顧及四年後的選票。這試都是付出代價後的收穫。

香港常常在等『時機成熟』。但如果不踏出一步，根本不會有進步，要進步，就要付出代價。

我希望香港會進步，如香港不進步的話，那台灣不要成為第二個香港。

國民黨競選總部。

國民黨義工。

民主黨競選總部。

民眾在民進黨競選總部看電視。

紀念品。

整整一個月不在北京了／三台灣

2012-01-19T14:41:00.007+08:00

我還去了台灣六天。有四天在台北，兩天在高雄。

幾年前，台灣肯定不是我旅遊的目的地。我總是覺得，難得有假期，應該去一些跟香港和中國文化有較大差異的地方。放假呀，實在想逃離一下，走出中國人的地方。台灣，應該跟香港差不多吧，沒什麼去的價值。

在2008年，同事去台灣看總統大選，叫我一起去，我都拒絕了。

上月休假，剛好去台灣的機票便宜，就決定去台灣吧，順道去一下藍綠陣營的競選總部，感受一下大選的氣氛。

不去還好，去過後，不得了。台灣人有禮貌，守秩序，很多年輕人都把地鐵的優先座讓給有需要人士，也不爭先恐後。到誠品，你可以隨便找個角落坐下看書，你看一整天也沒有人打擾你。去買東西與吃飯，店員說的「謝謝」也說得特別讓人窩心。風景，更加不用說。我在閒日去十份，很享受行那些寧靜的小街。怪不得有香港人去了六七次台灣仍然想再去。

中正紀念堂

總統府，遊客可以參觀的。

士林夜市。

士林夜市。

年輕人情願站，也把優先座留空。

台北故宮博物館。

高雄旗津港。

高雄旗津港。

高雄旗津港。

龍華寺。

菁桐。

十分。

十分。

十分的一家賣懷舊東西的店。

十分瀑布。

十分放天燈。

整整一個月不在北京了／二烏坎村

2012-01-19T14:40:00.001+08:00

整整一個月不在北京了／二烏坎村

我本來是從11月27日起休大假，12月11日回到北京繼續工作，這段時間在香港留10天左右，再去台灣玩一星期。

但結果因為工作出差的原因，我在12月26日才回到北京。在過去一個月，我除了香港和台灣外，還因為工作的原因，去了兩天廣東陸豐烏坎村，和在越南河內待了5天。

我最開心的是，在台灣，我探訪了有10多年沒見過的表舅父，還有在當地讀書的表弟。最感恩的是，延遲了回京日期，讓我可以帶父母出席香港教會在聖誕節舉行的佈道會，雖然我的父母還沒有決志相信主耶穌，我仍覺得叫他們去佈道會，是非常有意義的事。今後，我要無所不用其極地與他們分享自己所相信的。

說一下烏坎村。

在過去3個月，廣東省陸豐鳥坎村發生了大規模示威。當地村民指責官員非法賣掉土地給發展商，因此他們發起遊行及集體上訪。但當局把村民代表拘捕。該村民在拘留期間死亡，引起村民更多不滿。當局後來答應村民要求，事件暫時平息。

以下兩個網站提供一些背景資料：
乌坎事件经过、乌坎事件起因、乌坎事件详细解析

http://money.591hx.com/article/2011-12-23/0000097216s.shtml
9·21乌坎村事件

http://baike.baidu.com/view/7145238.htm

基本上，我覺得村民是挺守秩序的。也非常願意協助媒體採訪，甚至讓記者在他們的家工作。

當地政府答應村民要求，使事件暫時平息。政府的做法，被內地學者及知識份子正面評價，他們並呼籲政府要天開放和民主。

整整一個月不在北京了／一越南

2012-01-19T14:35:00.003+08:00

我本來是從11月27日起休大假，12月11日回到北京繼續工作，這段時間在香港留10天左右，再去台灣玩一星期。

但結果因為工作出差的原因，我在12月26日才回到北京。在過去一個月，我除了香港和台灣外，還因為工作的原因，去了兩天廣東陸豐烏坎村，和在越南河內待了5天。

我最開心的是，在台灣，我探訪了有10多年沒見過的表舅父，還有在當地讀書的表弟。最感恩的是，延遲了回京日期，讓我可以帶父母出席香港教會在聖誕節舉行的佈道會，雖然我的父母還沒有決志相信主耶穌，我仍覺得叫他們去佈道會，是非常有意義的事。今後，我要無所不用其極地與他們分享自己所相信的。

在此，我介紹一下過去一個月去過的地方吧。由最沒有在心中留下印象的越南河內開始。

去河內5天，主要是跟人外訪，大部份時間留在酒店等重要人物及寫稿，其中一天，更在酒店大堂的沙發消耗了十二小時，幾乎有幽閉空間恐懼症。要待重要人物離開後，我才有半天在河內蹓躂，在Hoan Kiem Lake及Old Quarter內走走，買咖啡。

越南的房屋，很多是歐式建築，也是窄窄的。越南人，不會說英語，試過在餐廳點牛肉河，強調了好幾次Beef，結果是來了一碗豬紅河。

越南的建築。

越南的建築。

當天應該是越南的建軍節。

很開心見到有人在湖邊佈佳音。

Compare and Complaint

2011-11-29T00:05:00.000+08:00

Joined a praise and worship session led by Heartbeat, a band newly formed by my BJ friends. The session triggered me to think how easily I get frustrated from time to time. It could be about anything – matters as trivial as meeting an impolite taxi driver and as serious as unable to get things done in the way you want.

The most serious frustrations is from comparison. Sometimes I feel disgruntled, asking why other people are living far better off while I work for long hours a day. Why some people live in a big house while I can only rent a tiny apartment? Where is justice and fairness? Why can't I find a right job and have a good wife?

The band read out a story which creation is based on Psalms 73.

Here are Psalms 73 – from the Message. (Note: The Message tries to explain the content of the Bible through vivid examples of daily life experience. But it is NOT an official Bible. For traditional version, please go to http://www.o-bible.com/cgibin/ob.cgi?version=kjv&book=psa&chapter=73)
Psalm 73
An Asaph Psalm

1-5 No doubt about it! God is good— good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it,
missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top,
envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about,
not a care in the whole wide world.

6-10 Pretentious with arrogance,
they wear the latest fashions in violence,
Pampered and overfed,
decked out in silk bows of silliness.
They jeer, using words to kill;
they bully their way with words.
They're full of hot air,
loudmouths disturbing the peace.
People actually listen to them—can you believe it?
Like thirsty puppies, they lap up their words.

11-14 What's going on here? Is God out to lunch?
Nobody's tending the store.
The wicked get by with everything;
they have it made, piling up riches.
I've been stupid to play by the rules;
what has it gotten me?
A long run of bad luck, that's what—
a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.

15-20 If I'd have given in and talked like this,
I would have betrayed your dear children.
Still, when I tried to figure it out,
all I got was a splitting headache . . .
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture:
The slippery road you've put them on,
with a final crash in a ditch of delusions.
In the blink of an eye, disaster!
A blind curve in the dark, and—nightmare!
We wake up and rub our eyes....Nothing.
There's nothing to them. And there never was.

21-24 When I was beleaguered and bitter,
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.

25-28 You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserters, they'll never be heard from again.
But I'm in the very presence of God—
oh, how refreshing it is!
I've made Lord God my home.
God, I'm telling the world what you do!

The author David is frustrated with what's happening around him. He knows God is good and God loves people, but he missed the goodness of God because of all the injustice in the world. Is God sleeping? If not, why does God turn a deaf ear to the people who are truly in need but give prosperous life to those wicked people?

But David changed his perception and gained new insights after “entering the sanctuary of God”. He knows God has his plan for every one of us, and he will not dump those who love him. God knows all the injustice happening here, and he will handle it one day.

What have I learned after entering the sanctuary of God? I think the crux to stop my frustration is to appreciate and stop comparing myself with other people. Yes, some people seems to be very talented who can coordinate things well and be a good leader, and some people are richer than me. I would be in financial trouble if I lose my job, while some people does not need to do anything for a living.

But I do appreciate what I have and what God has given me. God has a plan for every one of us, and he treasures each one of us. God provides us what we need.

Lets take a look at Matthew 6:26 (again, from the Message)

Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

Yes, I am not making much money and I don't have much savings after paying my rent, family and church, but the provision of God is abundance. Yes, sometimes I face difficult situations at work and I got worried about many things, but God gives me peace because I know he will lead me through the challenge.

Having said that, I don't mean God will take away all our problems. People still get sick and die, but God gives us peace to face difficult times.

祈禱的作用

2011-10-24T10:59:00.001+08:00

我在去年10月就非常確定自己想換工作了。當時我只知道現在工作地方的主管的名字和電話，而在那機構工作的人，我一個也不認識，我也不知道那機構是不是在請人。但當時的我實在是很想換工作，所以就把簡歷投給那個主管，並打電話給他約時間見面。
面試當天，一進入他辦公室，他便說：『你在中國的採訪經驗非常少。假如我現在雇傭你，你能如何幫我呢？』當時我呆了，這個人一針見血的點出我在中國工作的最大問題。我在上一個工作機構做編輯，天天都是看稿做版，沒有寫過東西，更沒有採訪過什麼人，連最簡單的電話採訪也沒有。我從香港到北京，只是把居住的地方搬了，但工作方式和生活沒有變，轉變環境的意義不大。
面試以後，那個主管沒有聯繫我，也沒有回我以後發他的電郵。當時我祈禱，向神說我想換工作，心中也認定，如果找不到新工作，多待半年或一年就回香港。
去年的10月國慶日回港，更約了一些人，找找在香港工作的機會。但很奇怪的是，我在深圳黃崗過關去香港時，竟然想起北京。
國慶假回到北京後，我也繼續的求神為我的工作安排，向祂說：『我挺想留在北京。』當然，如果祂想我回香港，那就回香港。與此同時，我覺得我要做一些實際的行動，改變一下工作的困局，開始做一些採訪的工作和寫稿，讓我的CV好看一點。
直到今年二月，在我回香港過年的前兩天，那個主管找我，說他們有空缺，問我有沒有興趣，叫我開聘用條件以及補交一些檔。我按他說的做了，但等了三個禮拜，音訊全無，我心裏非常著急。
同一時間，我知道在香港是有適合我的職位空缺，而工資也是比較高的。我心裏很猶豫，是不是應該申請香港的空缺。這又是一輪的祈禱。到最後，得到的答案是，我應該留在北京，神有祂的安排。我就決定不申請在香港的空缺，結果就成為駐北京記者了。

老實說，我到現在也不完全清楚神對我的安排，也不知道祂在我身上會成就什麼事情。我所知道的，就是要順服和依靠祂。
這個經歷告訴我，在依靠的過程中，祈禱是很重要的。雖然說神在每個人身上有祂的安排，神是喜歡人向祂說話的，聖經也指出人是可以向神說自己的所思所想，甚至提出疑問。禱告讓我知道我應該怎麼做。我相信，如果沒有禱告，我可能會一直猶豫要不要申請香港的空缺，甚至可能已經投簡歷了，而不知道留在北京是最好的選擇。
到新公司後幾天，與一位在香港總部的同事聊天，他說，無論在什麼地方，生活不應該只是為自己的理想和幸福努力。在工作的地方，專注自己的成就與工作外，還要多做其他的事情。
什麼是其他的事情，我不完全知道，我還是在摸索當中，而這個摸索的過程，好像有點慢。我希望可以在摸索的過程中多走幾步，看清出一點。希望以後可以在這裏多說一點。

迎來送往

2011-10-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

舊同事鳳凰大約三星期前從香港到北京工作。忙於找房子買傢俱，我下班或放假時也去幫忙一下。
我跟鳳凰在大學時認識，我們念同一個主修科，但我早一年畢業。畢業後的幾年從來沒聯繫過，直到幾年前我們進同一家公司工作才又遇上。兩年多前，她換工作，我後來也來了北京工作。我回香港，或是她來北京玩的時候，我們有碰過面。
同一時間，有幾個在北京的朋友要走了，要回香港或其他地方工作去。當中有一個，是我在香港時共事過的，她比我早大約半年到北京，也算是介紹了我在北京的第一份工作吧。我們兩個也想換換環境。不同的是，她去另一個城市工作，而我在北京找新工作。
在教會的兩個朋友也要離開北京了。我在北京教會的生活是很歡樂的，這一家教會給我不少的支持。人家走，雖然說科技縮短了人與人間的距離，今後還是可以透過不同的方法聯繫，還是有點不舍的。
大抵大家都是因為工作的原因來北京，感覺就好像是旅遊人，來北京後，遇上各樣的事情，有讓人窩心的(窩心在南方的意思是心裏很舒服)，有很讓人挫敗的，有讓人很喜歡北京的，也有讓人想馬上離開的。有的人可能會在這裏一直住下去，但更多的人會因為家庭和工作等原因而離開，關鍵是你會待在北京多長時間。
我想起龍應台曾經說過的一句話。她在“親愛的安德列”一書的講座中，談到她與兒子常常分開兩地的感受，她說人與人之間的相處是有quota的，這個quota會有用盡的一天。
這麼說好像很悲哀。其實不是。聖經傳道書3章1節這麼說：“凡事都有定期，天下萬務都有定時。”因此，聚散也有時。
而傳道書3章11-14節也說：“神造萬物，各按其時成為美好。又將永生安置在世人心裏。（永生原文作永遠）然而神從始至終的作為，人不能參透。我知道世人，莫強如終身喜樂行善。並且人人吃喝，在他一切勞碌中享福。這也是神的恩賜。我知道神一切所作的，都必永存，無所增添，無所減少。神這樣行，是要人在他面前存敬畏的心。”
人的聚散，在神眼中，是美好的，人喜樂行善和吃喝，也是神的恩賜。既然神安排了我們在同一個時空和地點相遇，就好好珍惜。
我，到現在為止，還是想留在北京的。

無聊的過國慶日

2011-10-03T21:17:00.002+08:00

我很久沒有更新過這個博客了。自從兩年前來北京後，就沒有怎麼更新過。一來因為懶，也覺得沒什麼好寫。二來是不太想在這談工作的事情。三來是微博可以讓人時時刻刻的在140個字內發表林林總總的東西，用不了寫長長的博客文章。
不過既然自己在幾年前開了這個平臺，也就不太像放棄它。我想，還是有東西是值得記下來的。
就說說過去兩天做過的事情吧。
星期六，是大陸一連七天的國慶日假期的開始。去年的國慶日，我都回香港了。但今年我選擇留在北京，因為我上個月已放假回香港了。
星期六下午跟十來個人去了藝術區798逛了一個小時左右，然後去一個朋友家吃韓國菜及玩桌遊(即card game)。朋友住望京，也就是韓國人比較集中的地方，這個地方的韓國菜特別好吃。
星期天早上去教會。後跟強及人瑞無無聊聊的在三裏屯吃飯以及逛。國慶日的北京，除了旅遊點外，其他地方也沒什麼人(很多在北京的人也去其他城市旅遊或回家了)，路也不堵，更是非常暢通。而且，北京的空氣污染指數從前幾天的400多下跌到昨天的100以內，空氣也特別的好。
午飯後，去了南鑼鼓巷的一家咖啡店聊了兩個小時，再去吃了一頓日本菜及雪糕，就回家了。
就這樣很無聊但舒服的過了一天。

請支持記者工作

2011-08-20T22:09:00.001+08:00

大約300名記者今天遊行，表達對香港警方在副總理李克強訪港期間，嚴重干預記者的採訪工作的不滿。

你可能覺得300人不多，每年七一遊行和六四集會最少也有幾萬人參加，幾十人到幾百人的遊行，差不多每個星期都有，300個記者的訴求，與你有什麼關係。

讓我先說一下，要組織記者參加遊行不是容易的事。記者工作時間不穩定，不是朝九晚六，更不是週未週日休假，基本上差不多一天24小時都有記者在工作，除非事態嚴重，要找300個記者在同一時間同一地點出現，根本是mission impossible。

李克強來香港派大禮，理應開心才對，為什麼記者要遊行？

作為記者，我是十分理解在政要訪港期間，警方要作出合理的保安安排。幾年前，我做習近平訪港，當天他探訪一家庭，由於場地所限以及保安要求，人家的房子根本容不下幾十個記者，因此記者不一定可以親眼看到習近平探訪的情況。但記者可以在屋苑外等候，看見習近平步入屋苑，而且，在他離開後，並在屋主同意的情況下，訪問屋主。

最近的李克強訪港的保安安排，除了倒退兩個字，我實在想不到可以如何形容。副總理訪問社區中心，記者只可在大馬路對岸行人路上守候，突然有黑衣人在沒有表明身份的情況下要檢查記者的卡片及錢包，黑衣人好像擔心有生化襲擊般，連記者的的士單也要檢查。其後更加叫來大貨車，把攝像鏡頭擋住。

在麗港城，住客因為穿上印有平反六四的T恤，就被警方抬走。我想問，香港法例第幾章第幾條寫明穿「平反六四」T恤是犯法？為什麼在副總理探訪期間穿這件T恤就要被你抬走？穿什麼衣服不是個人的自由嗎？難道我在當天要穿上一件「我愛祖國」的T恤？

在香港大學，副總理出席百年典禮，理應是喜氣洋洋的事情。但為什麼當學生在與慶典會場有幾座建築物距離的地方示威時，一大堆警察要把他們推入房間，並且把門關上。大學，不是一個可以容讓多種意見表達方式的地方嗎？只要我沒對你構成危險或誹謗，我就可以表達我的意見。你可以不認同我的示威訴求，但你不可以把我封口消音。

更令人憤怒的是，偉大的特區政府似乎無視記者的不滿。政務司司長唐英年竟然對記者說；「I think that is completely rubbish that we have violated civil rights, nor have we violated freedom of speech, because every single activity of the Vice-Premier has been covered by the media」

記者理性表達意見，卻換來你的一句「垃圾」侮辱性回應，我怎能不憤怒。

唐司長說，副總理的行程，大部份都有傳媒報導。大家可知道，大部份在電視上看到的片段，都是由政府新聞處統一發放。

這種安排及對採訪以及言論自由的干預，不單單影響記者，也影響你。試想想，如果所有的報導都由政府新聞處統一發放，那根本就是一言堂，所有報導最後都只會從同一角落出發；歌功頌德，隱惡揚善。對當權者不利的，一律不報。

這兩年，我在內地工作，跟一些內地人談到香港的情況時，他們常常問到為什麼香港人要示威，說是不是香港人太偏激了，說內地政府比香港政府糟糕多倍，畢竟香港政府如何再糟糕，也派6000元。

我想，我作為香港人，我所感到驕傲的，主要不是香港人有錢﹝內地人比香港人更有錢﹞，也不是在香港可以買到iPad等最新產品，是香港的制度，講法治，少貪污，尊重自由與個人權利。我可以年年參加七一遊行六四紀念集會，也可以參加及組織國慶活動。在寫新聞報導時，可以把批評與質疑的聲音表達出來，而不用擔心所效力的機構在翌日會否被官方整頓停刊。

我要有權選特首。這個願望，恐怕是永遠達不到的了。民主願望落空，就連我穿衣服與採訪的自由也被剝奪時，怎能不叫我對香港失望。

不要以為過去幾天所發生的事，只跟記者有關。我相信，如果現在不關注的話，這只是當權者對市民加強控制的第一步，是第一步而已。如果我們現在不抗衡，對權力的監察機制只會日漸崩潰，貪污腐敗便由此而起，到時，無人可以制約當權者。

我現在還可在這裡寫這篇文，我不希望香港會倒退到1984的世界。

立法會

2011-07-21T19:32:00.002+08:00

現時在中環京遮打花園的立法會快要搬了。很多記者行家在它搬前去緬懷一番，拍照留念。

看到眾行家在facebook的照片，我也很想去立法會懷舊一下，但可惜我人在外地。

立法會真的有很多議員及記者的集體回憶。

隨便想想，我就記起因為要審議校本管理條例，我要連續三天，每天十小時在立法會工作。

政府要削減大學撥款，有議員反對，與政府官員唇槍舌劍。

截取通訊條例，允許執法機關以查案及安全為由，向法庭申請截取個人通訊，有議員擔心市民私隱會被侵犯，提出多項修訂，再與政府官員及親政府派唇槍舌劍。

無論議員怎麼反對也好，政府條例最後也照樣通過。因為立法會的組成及投票機制，使它成為一個橡皮圖章。不過，即使最後反對無效，仍要繼續反對，明知不可為而為之，以表明社會上仍有反對聲音，不可以當權者有恃無恐。

Universal Studios Singapore

2011-04-24T19:16:00.007+08:00

If it was not for my friends CW and WLee, I would not have gone to Singapore. I have been to this city state three years ago.
Our main goal is the Universal Studios Singapore. Entrance fees is expensive, at S$72 (S$1=HK$6.2). And we don't have a master card, and so we cannot enjoy the 20 percent discount.
The roller coaster in Sci-Fi city really kills people. I feel dizzy after the rides.
And be prepared to get wet, possibly soaked, for the Rapid Adventure in Jurassic Park, and the Water World performance.

At the entrance of Universal Studios Singapore

These two rides really kill me.

A castle.

This performer only wants to show his muscle, I guess.

The Water World performance. Worth seeing

Next: Melaka

Lovely KL

2011-04-24T00:29:00.008+08:00

Gone for a short trip to Malaysia over the past few days before starting my new challenge.
My general impression of the Malaysian capital, Kuala Lumpur -- affectionately known as KL -- is good even the weather is so hot that I feel dizzy and despite the unexpected heavy rains. People are hospitable, which is reflected by their willingness to help me with directions. A street vendor, having seen me walking pass his booth for a few times looking perplexed, asked if I would buy any drinks. And after I said "No," he asked what was I looking for and told me the museum I wanted to visit was moved.
And again, Thanks Teoh for treating me my first Malaysian dinner in Lot 10 Hutong. I cannot try the most traditional Malay food, such as Laksa and Nasi Lemak, due to poor stomach, but still my first Malay meal is enjoyable as expected.
The depreciation of US and HK dollars is really a big problem. One Malaysian Ringgit equals to HK$2.5, compared with just HK$2 when I went to Sarawak a few years ago. And one Singapore dollar equals to HK$6.2 now, compared with just HK$5 three years ago. Everything outside HK is expensive, and no wonder tourists from mainland and other overseas countries come to HK for shopping.

Highlights of KL:
1) Sultan Abdul Samad Building, 2) Masjid Negara, 3) Islamic Art Museum, 4) Old KL train station

1) Sultan Abdul Samad Building
I guess the temperature was more than 31C when I went there and I was wondering if I should go to some places with indoor air-conditioning even though the building is spectacular. The building, including a 40-meter high clock tower, is KL's major landmark and serves as the backdrop for important events. It was designed by AC Norman and constructed to house government departments during the British administration. It now houses the Ministry of Information, Communications and Culture of Malaysia. Visiting inside the building is not allowed, but tourists could get information leaflet and post cards for free at the reception.

2) Masjid Negara (National Mosque)
I am very interested in mosques and I do want to know more about Muslims even though I am a Christian. Non-muslim is not allowed to enter the mosque during prayer time, and even if they can go inside, the praying hall is still strictly for Muslims only. But it is wrong to think that Muslims do not like to interact and share what they believe with others. Staff at the mosque -- one of them from Beijing -- will stand by in front of the praying hall to answer all sorts of questions relating to Islam, like the importance of going to Mecca, why they need to pray five times a day and the meaning of religious rituals. This mosque, which houses 15,000 people, is still not the largest in Malaysia. There is minaret, but no dome. It is worth spending some time there.

Masjid Negara

Prayer time. This is the real Arabic numbers!

Masjid Negara

Praying hall in Masjid Negara, strictly for Muslims only. I almost trespassed, and a lady shouted, "NO!"

And the other mosque, Masjid Jamek, is also impressive.

3) Islamic Art Museum
Only been there for like an hour because I do not have enough time. This museum is very good. It has models of different mosques in different architectural style around the world.

4) Old KL train station
This station opened in 1911 to receive trains from Butterworth and Singapore. It looks impressive, even though it is now only used for commuter trains and dilapidated. Worth sitting on the bench imaging its glorious past.

你父在暗中察看

2011-01-03T15:08:00.001+08:00

在此，也向司徒華致意。

這是司徒華在2008年6月1日善樂堂教會的講道內容。

【你父在暗中察看】
經文︰《馬太福音》 6︰5-8
數年前，屯門信義中學舉行暑期退修會，他們邀請我在當中分享。之後，有一位教師問我︰「司徒先生，為甚麼你要做一個低調的基督徒呢？」我當時回答他︰「基督徒只有虔誠與不虔誠，並沒有高低調之分的！」我想他認為我很少談及自己是一位基督徒，我說話很少引用《聖經》，我更沒有在教會工作，所以他就說我低調。我覺得做基督徒，要向神負責，也要向自己負責。

《聖經》中的金句，並不是讓我們去引用，是讓我們信奉的。每一個人，都有自己的工作崗位，去做最能夠服務社會的事，並不一定要在教會工作。我的崗位就是教育、團體、支持公義、爭取民主。教會的工作並不是我所長。有一句話「榮神益人」，意思是榮耀神，做於他人有益的事。

我覺得你只要做了對人有益的事，可能初時人們不知道你是基督徒，卻因為你作的事而認得你是基督徒的身份，這已經榮耀了神。假如，只有口頭上讚揚神，沒有做於他人有益的事，相反做一些有害的事，卻常常宣稱自己是基督徒，這並不是榮神，而是辱神，沾污了神的名字。

前年，我訪問美、加，在溫哥華的一次講話當中，完結的時候，有人問我︰「你是否每天都祈禱呢？」我回答他︰「不是，我只是偶然祈禱的。每天祈禱，會否太搔擾上帝呢？上帝會否感到煩悶呢？」求神不如求己，有些事情只要你努力就可以實現的，又何必求神呢？如果自己不努力，只是懂得祈禱，我相信上帝不會這樣去眷愛你，賜福給你，祂只會覺得你不長進。

我剛剛說，我只是偶然祈禱，我祈禱的事情通常都是自己做不到的事情！我曾經為患有絕症的朋友祈禱，我亦曾經為「六四」晚會的天氣祈禱，我也曾為最近「四川大地震」被活埋的人祈禱。我的祈禱，也不一定靈驗的，很多時候是沒有靈驗的，例如剛剛說的朋友，他結果也離世。我的祈禱沒有靈驗，好像上帝並沒有聽我們說話，我對此怎樣理解呢？

我相信大家都曾經遇到這個情況，但我相信上帝是全能的，祂所作的安排，一定是最好的，有祂的用意在內。雖然，我的祈禱沒有靈驗，我相信是有其他的原因，上帝的安排用意，我一時不能猜透，但我相信是最好的，日後一定能見證的。

兩個月前，我在一所中學演講，內容是我在青少年時所遇到的困難，而怎樣在困難當中自己去成長。當時一位教師問我︰「你是否得到上帝的賜福呢？」我回答︰「是！但他賜給我不是一個好的命運！」否則，我不會在青少年的時候遇到這麼多困難，祂賜給我的是一個頑強堅定的性格，一個勤於自省的頭腦，我是憑藉這些性格去成長的。祂並不是賜給我甚麼福氣和幸運，祂賜給我的是精神力量。我已經過了七十七歲的生日，現在精神和體力總算不錯。這是否神的恩賜呢？我認為是的！我認為神不是賜給我有一個好的健康，而賜給我懂得愛護自己的心，我每天都游水，我心境開朗，這都是神叫我去做的，如果我沒有去做，神又怎賜福給我呢？

剛才讀到的經文當中，是我建議今天一起頌讀的，經文中提到︰「你們禱告的時候，不可像那假冒為善的人，愛站在會堂裡和十字路口上禱告，故意叫人看見……你禱告的時候，要進你的內屋，關上門，禱告你在暗中的父。」（太6︰5-6）我的領會就是做一位基督徒，不是要叫人知道的，是要向自己和神負責。

「你們禱告，不可像外邦人，用許多重複話，他們以為話多了必蒙垂聽。」（太6︰7）剛才我說過，上帝會覺得我們嘮叨，自己能做到的事就去做，自己懂得的道理就要貫徹，不做不貫徹就算有千言萬語的禱告又有何用呢？

「因為你們沒有祈求以先，你們所需用的，你們的父早已知道了。」（太6︰8）並不需要說的，因為你在祈求以先，上帝已經知道了，祂已經早為我們安排。

「你父在暗中察看，必然報答你」（太6︰6）人在做，上帝在看，並不在於千言萬語的祈求，是在於你自己向神負責和向自己負責。

The year of 2010

2011-01-03T14:34:00.003+08:00

Thanks God. The year of 2010 is prosperous for me.

I have experienced failure, but on the other hand, I have learned more about my weaknesses and am motivated to remedy them.

I felt bored and frustrated living in a far away city alone, but I have made some friends here.

Good or bad. I hope I can make progress in 2011.

Works will be frustrating from time to time, and I have to focus on what I want to do.

P.S How do I spend my New Year's Eve and the New Year?
1) Eat with three colleagues, and discuss important current affairs of the country first. Then go to the home of HK friends, TL and SL, to play board games and count down.
2) Lunch with a group of university students on January, and have a vegeraterian dinner with some friends on Jan 1.
3) Church, plus board games at TL and SL's home.

趙連海Zhao Lianhai

2010-12-31T17:31:00.000+08:00

追討公義與賠償，要付出沉重的代價。
There is a huge price to pay for justice and compensation.

趙連海，38歲，其三歲兒子因為飲用含三聚氰胺的三鹿奶粉而導致腎結石，過去一直為自己兒子及其他受影響的家庭爭取公道及賠償。他成立結石寶寶之家，與其他家長一起把奶粉生產商告到法院，一起示威遊行。
Zhao Lianhai, 38, whose three-year-old kid has kidney stone after drinking melamine-tainted Sanlu milk powder. Zhao fought for his son and other affected parents, demanding justice and compensation. He established the Home for Kidney Stone Babies. Working with other parents, he took the dairy product manufacturers to the court, and marched on the street.

法院卻在11月10日把這名結石寶寶家長的代表判監2年半。
The court sentenced Zhao to 30 months of imprisonment on November 10.

在判刑當天，趙連海表示他誓要上訴。但事情之後的發展卻十分離奇，他先解顧他的律師，再放棄上訴，改為申請保外就醫。此時此刻，外界與他的家人仍失去聯絡。
Zhao vowed to appeal the sentence on the verdict delivering day. However, the development of the saga afterward is mysterious. He first fired his lawyers, and decided not to appeal. He, instead, applied for medical parole. Till now, his family still loses contact with the outside world.

在各人紛紛討論趙連海的保外就醫申請有沒有被批准時，趙連海在網誌上發表了一篇聲明。
When people are discussing whether Zhao’s medical parole has been granted, Zhao posted a statement on his personal blog.
「我現在保外就醫，在醫院治療並聲明拒絕與任何人接觸及打擾我的家人，我要過一個正常人的生活。I am granted medical parole. I am undergoing treatment at hospital. I refuse to talk to anyone, and please do not disturb my family. I want a normal people life.
　　希望關注我的人不要再就我的事情多談，我希望我的事情能盡快淡下去，這樣才有利於國家與社會，也有利於我的家庭。I hope those who are concerned me stop discussing my case. I hope my case will go away. This will be beneficial to the country, society and my family.
　　本人認同司法機關對我的刑事處罰，希望其他人不要就此事再多談甚麼。
　　本人支持認同並感謝政府，並就以往對政府的過激言論深表歉意。I agree with the criminal punishment imposed on me by judicial organizations. I hope other people stop discussing the matter. I support and am grateful to the government, and I apologize for the radical comments made against the government in the past.
　　特此聲明。This is my statement.
　　2010年12月28日趙連海 December 28, 2010, Zhao Lianhai」

一個月前，趙太在法院門外高聲呼叫：「趙連海無罪。」
一個月前，趙連海在法院高呼要上訴。
一個月後，申請保外就醫，趙連海說他認同司法機關對他的刑事處罰，並感謝政府。
Zhao’s wife yelled “Zhao is innocent” outside the court a month ago. A month ago, Zhao vowed to appeal. A month after, he applied for medical parole, and “agree” with the punishment, and “grateful” to the government.

外界估計，出獄後，趙連海仍會受監視。
People believe Zhao will be under tight surveillance after release.

趙連海只是一個普通的父親。讀這封聲明，讓人感到無奈及悲哀。對一個普通市民來說，追求公義何價。
Zhao is just a ordinary father. Reading this statement, I feel a sense of hopelessness. There is a huge price to pay for seeking justice for an ordinary citizen.

毒奶粉事件發生時，官員說要調查，結果趙連海被判監。兩年了，眾多受影響的嬰兒仍在死亡邊緣掙扎。周雄的兒子周小煊的右腎功能全失。被三聚氰胺污染的食品仍流通市面。
When the milk scandal first erupted, officials said they would investigate thoroughly. And two years after, Zhao is imprisoned, and many affected kids are still struggling to survive. The right kidney of the son of Zhou Xiong, one of the affected fathers, had lost function. And we can still see melamine-tainted food in the market.

官員說，要養人活得有尊嚴，結果‧‧‧‧‧
Officials said people should live with dignity and integrity, but we can see …..

我知道我的救贖者活著

2010-11-16T14:35:00.000+08:00

我知道我的救贖者活著，
他是永活的主，
當我在深谷迷失時，
他領我走正義路。
我知道我的救贖者活著，
他是永活的主，
當我在曠野孤獨時，
他伴我作我的燈。

我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我心不再憂慮，
我要在每一個日夜中，
領受他的豐盛之愛，
我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我靈不再沉睡
當號角響起的那一天，
我將見他榮光之面。”
我知道我的救贖者活著，
他是永活的主，
當我在曠野孤獨時，
他伴我作我的燈。

我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我心不再憂慮，
我要在每一個日夜中，
領受他的豐盛之愛，
我知道我的救贖者永遠活著，
我靈不再沉睡
當號角響起的那一天，
我將見他榮光之面。

我為什麼相信基督教

2010-11-16T14:11:00.001+08:00

我為什麼信？

來北京前，真的沒有預期會給人問到為什麼相信基督教。在香港，一向比較少跟朋友談宗教。以前一直覺得基督教在中國不太普遍。當初找到一家教會落腳就很開心。
但在北京，我曾多次給問到為什麼相信基督教。有人跟我說他在上海看到的基督徒都是很開心的人，又有人在閑餘讀聖經。

幾次給問到為什麼信，我都是簡單的一句「因為我相信是真的」就把問題輕輕帶過。因為不知道如何說起，也就沒有詳細解釋。

我想在這裡解釋一下。

我自小就相信造物主的存在，凡事冥冥中有主宰。小時候有上過教會，但後來又沒有上。中學就讀教會學校，學校有傳教的活動。我自稱相信基督教，但是其實不太知道基督教是什麼，對宗教也沒有什麼個人經歷。

中學六年級，我在哥的帶領下，再次返教會，後來比較穩定得出席教會活動，聽弟兄姊妹分享他們對基督教的認識及經歷，才開始思考信仰。

在大二時，要辦學生報。有一天，我要連續做2-3個訪問，下午要回校園上課。跟現在的工作相比，一天幾個訪問，實在不算什麼。但當時我覺得很忙。

我在想既然人最終會死，為什麼要那麼辛苦，幹嗎要做那麼多的事？何不馬馬虎虎過日子？又或者，人活著的意義是什麼？

基督教信仰的核心，就是相信上帝是創造天地萬物的主。而人都犯罪，但上帝的兒子耶穌基督就來到世間，為人的罪給釘在十字架上，洗淨人的罪。上帝是愛人的，祂終會有一天接我們到天家。上帝是愛人的，人的一言一行祂也看在眼內。

這是一個很重要的盼望。就是這個盼望，讓我知道，人不應該馬馬虎虎過日子，因為天父在看顧我們的每一天，而且祂在將來會接我們。人不是過了今生就算，是由將來的。

既然上帝安排耶穌為人釘十架，就證明他是愛人的，祂不會置人於不顧。

「你們看那天上的飛鳥，也不種，也不收，也不積蓄在倉裡，你們的天父尚且養活它。你們不比飛鳥貴重得多嗎？」（馬太福音6章26節）

上帝真的很看重人的。

不是說信主後，所有困難都會消失。基督教所宣揚的，是人在面對困難時，內心有神所給的平安。我剛來北京沒多久，食道經常感到灼熱疼痛。在網上查一下，發現這是胃酸倒流或食道癌的症狀。我的情況持續了兩個多月，吃了一些減胃酸的藥都沒好。我一度非常驚，但後來透過不斷的祈禱，我更確定了無論檢查的結果如何，上帝一定會幫助我面對，人的心就平安了。檢查結果是胃酸反流，吃藥後就好。

胃酸反流後，我發現我的體重下降了7kg。剛好我的一個朋友當時給診斷患上淋巴癌。淋巴癌的症狀之一，就是體重在半年內下降10%。我又開始驚了。當時我心想：「上帝，袮是不是在玩啊？我再向香港平平安安，怎麼來到北京就常常出事了？」又經過一輪禱告，內心又平安了。
「但我復活以後，要在你們以先往加利利去。」（馬可福音 14章28節）

「門徒來叫醒了他，說，夫子，夫子，我們喪命啦。耶穌醒了，斥責那狂風大浪。風浪就止住，平靜了。」（路加福音8章24節）

主耶穌是比我們先走一步。祂被釘十架前，已經經歷過種種苦難。在釘十架時，祂歷盡悲痛。我相信，我們現在經歷的種種困難，主已經經歷過，並跨越了。這位連風浪都可以止住的主，是有能力，也必定會幫助我們。

上帝給人盼望，這盼望是在人面對困難的時候，祂會跟人一起面對。祂告訴我們，人是有將來的。盼望真的是很重要，沒盼望的生活很辛苦。

在皇崗想起北京

2010-10-09T00:28:00.000+08:00

「你來北京一年都沒有，你對北京的感覺，未必會發展到喜愛北京的。」
最近想起這句半年前香港同鄉會的會友﹝即教友﹞對我說的話。
十月一日當天經深圳回香港。在深圳的街道穿梭，途經一些最近10年才落成的住宅區，我真有點感覺已回到香港。過去間中都有去深圳吃喝玩樂，直到十月一日才覺得深圳很像香港。那些住宅區竟然令我想起淘大花園及大角咀。
居於深圳的香港人問過在北京的日子過得如何，我都不知道怎麼說，只簡單的回應了：「ok呀，不錯。」
坐皇崗過境巴士時，想起這個問題，就想起了同鄉會會友的那句話。回家的途中竟然想起了北京。

「你來北京一年都沒有，你對北京的感覺，未必會發展到喜愛北京的。」
同鄉會會友的那句話，明示了若果我在北京逗留長一點，就會多喜愛一點北京。

是的。

的確，北京城區好像沒有什麼特別好玩的地方。我不喜歡蒲酒吧，所以三里屯等地不太吸引我。故宮、長城和頤和園等歷史名勝去一兩次便夠。比較吸引的，應該是北京的週邊地方吧。
在京城的工作，不想多說了，天天應付突如其來的狀況，令人疲於奔命，有放下一切逃跑去玩的衝動。
但我確實是比半年前更喜愛京城。一個很實在的原因，是京城的居住空間比香港的大。另外，自己一個人住，多了私人空間。

最重要的，是人與人之間的關係吧。
我喜歡我的同事們。縱然疲倦與不屑管理方式，我還是喜歡跟同事們合作，最起碼大家都有要做好一件事的態度，同事們之間﹝最少對我﹞起碼不自私，很多事情都有傾有講的。情況好像我在英文虎報工作時一樣。
我享受每週下班後跟同事們吃宵夜，假期一起出外玩玩。沒有什麼驚天動地鬼神哭的玩意，但我享受。
而香港同鄉會﹝是北京國際教會的粵語組﹞是另一個我喜歡的地方。雖然因為工作的原因，常常不能出席聚會，但我還是喜歡跟弟兄姊妹相處的。
你喜歡一個城市與否，人真的是一個重要因素。

我估計，如果我換工作或離開北京，我會非常不捨得。

第三天，康西草原騎馬

2010-09-26T00:50:00.001+08:00

凌晨2時多才睡，卻一大清早起來，趕在10時前到東直門，跟幾個同鄉去康西草原騎馬。

吃了一餐不太好吃的農家菜後，就去騎馬了。

我們幾個人，沒有一個懂騎馬，所以就花了一些錢給兩個馬伕。那兩個馬伕在途中竟然說：「你們想馬兒跑嗎？那就多給我們200元吧。」那些馬，都只聽馬伕的指示。

既然這樣，就多給他們100元吧。

騎了兩小時，屁股痛得很，但幾好玩。

那草原不算小，但沒有一望無際的感覺。
估計下次要去內蒙或蒙古看更大的草原。到時是不是先要重溫一下狠圖騰？

在京城的中秋節 – Home Away from Home

2010-09-26T00:47:00.002+08:00

中秋節有三天假﹝註：嚴格來說，其實並不是額外的假期，因為在平常原本休假的日子上班，中秋三天只是補假而已。﹞，每一天的節目都安排得滿滿的，過得非常充實。

第一天，跟同事去了天津。

同事N的家在天津，既然她願意一盡地主之誼，就跟同事們一起去了天津兩日一夜。

基本上沒有什麼行程安排，就是很悠閒地逛街，看看外國人以前留下來的建築﹝五大道﹞，吃了一餐豐富但價錢算便宜的西餐，再在咖啡館待了兩個小時。

雖然當天下雨，卻無阻大家要休息及玩的興致。站在那些歐式老建築前，同事CK高興得在叫「很有巴黎的感覺。」

「很有巴黎的感覺。」

晚上去了吃便宜海鮮，兩斤蝦兩只河蟹加上蜆等，每人65元。後再去吃豆腐砂鍋。回酒店後，跟同事玩牌，凌晨兩點入睡。

酒店就在寧靜的五大道，雙人房每晚約250元。房間的設備不錯，但空間有點小，而且浴室的門是半透明的玻璃，除非你不介意給人看你的裸體，又或是你可以超快的洗澡，或者其他人都在睡覺，否則你實在不會願意洗澡。又不是情侶酒店，實在不明白為何要這裝修。

第二天，天津、在京海鮮餐

清早起來，吃了豐富的早餐，食物包括豆腐、雲吞、油條及燒餅。吃得飽飽的回京。

回京後稍為在卡拉OK休息了一會，再跟香港同鄉﹝教會朋友﹞聚會，又吃海鮮。

京城的海鮮比天津的貴，一斤蝦要40元。點了龍蝦、三文魚及魚等，我們勝在人多﹝好像在16人﹞，價錢就不致於太貴。之後去了一個會友的家吃月餅及玩。

今年中秋，跟同事及同鄉玩得實在開心，開心得有一點Home Away from Home的感覺。

主日學

2010-09-15T00:01:00.001+08:00

上週日教了一課主日學。主日學的意思，大致是指在主日﹝即週日﹞上課，學習一些與信仰有關的內容。主日學的對象，一般都是學生或年輕人。
這是我首次教主日學，教授的內容是教會的歷史，由啟示錄後開始，直到君士坦丁堡把基督教列為國教為止。中間要提及當時皇帝對教會的迫害及異端等等。
由於準備有一點倉促，不太能引導少年人討論。我與partner大部份時間都在讀稿。
那班少年人，反應快，願意提問題，亦願意回答問題。希望下次可以跟他們有更多互動。
下次的內容包括十字軍及教會分裂等。
我一直都不太了解教會歷史，必需要花多些時間找多些資料。
可以負責這個班，我其實很開心。

可以做什麼

2010-09-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

幾個月前，與一位教友分享了一些工作的問題，教友問了一個重要的問題。教友問：「你求神的同時，你又為祂做什麼？」
這個問題是一很好的提醒。我整天求神保守紀念什麼什麼，我究竟為神付出過什麼呢？不是說人與神的關係是公利的，你不為神付出，神就不當你是祂的子民。打一個比喻，父母含辛茹苦養育子女，即使子女不為他們付出什麼，他們也不一定會把子女逐出家門吧。
最近，把教會印制的一本小冊子給人看，也為一些人代禱。教會好像有一些計畫，我希望可以幫手。

下一站：天國

2010-08-26T21:56:00.004+08:00

Written by 紀曉風, Published in Hong Kong Economic Journal, 26 August, 2010

下一站：天國

未樂極，已生悲，這是什麼道理？

其中一名獲救人質梁太只懂不停問：「點解咁多個鐘，都冇人幫我哋？都冇人幫我哋？係咪為咗錢？」

至於救她的人，是其丈夫，現已列在死者名單上。

究竟儆惡懲奸救急扶危的警察都去了哪裏？莫非都在「勿越警戒線」以外？難道都以為即便是革職警員畢竟是警員？

八月二十三日，農曆七月十四，馬尼拉的天空飄滿了香港死者彎曲的倒影，他們搭乘「身心康泰巴士」到天國，誓不暝目地反覆追問：「點解咁多個鐘，都冇人幫我哋？」

下一站：天國
人間道煙花墓

當菊花綻放，你出發的笑容已經泛黃；當槍管發光，你回歸的熱淚已經盈眶；當車子靜躺，你乾涸的血水已經流得滿城滄桑。

昨天，呂宋蒼穹下有路祭，以明日黃花銘記，八月的天空很低，低得燕歸人不歸。

下一站：天國
失樂園離恨天

三十三天，離恨天最高；九百九園，失樂園最大。

八月二十五日午後，菲律賓的天空很深，黑色的眼睛聚滿灰色的密雲。

密雲中的光環本來是天國的福音，如今卻成了地獄的裂痕。

裂痕是紅塵顛倒的烙印，好讓八個亡魂以回鄉的姿態看這個異鄉最後一眼，然後留下一句：「菲律賓別為我哭泣，我死的時候，雨，已經下得夠多。」

但雨，還是下了，彷彿仍在為菲律賓洗脫罪孽盡最後努力。

起飛時，國泰包機裏的生還者都在望窗，卻都像在八月二十三日入夜後的康泰旅遊巴士上一樣，永遠都不會再見到太陽。

晚上，把文章寫好後，走進會議室，桌上滿佈的是這日的照片，獨有一張抓緊了視線！那是稚女似懂非憧向眼前的棺木揮手說再見，靈柩內，是她的爸爸，而抱著她的媽媽，早已是淚流滿面。

照片沒有聲音，但那陣的哀哉，卻穿越了時空直透心底，如同當時親在現場一般，據知不少在場的同行，整夜目睹過程，亦忍不住垂淚。

周一晚上那數個多小時，如同夢魘；周二梁太的悲哭控訴，在腦海久久揮之不去；這夜，在香港機場，儀式進行時，正埋首於字海，未有留意直播畫面，但每一細節中的淒滄，卻一下一下把內心割裂，原來，在最慘痛時，文字與言詞，真的不足以把感受表現。

願你們安息

2010-08-24T11:50:00.002+08:00

數個香港家庭參加康泰旅行社到馬尼拉的旅行團散心，行程已到尾聲，快要出發往機場回香港的時候，一名槍手突然衝上旅遊巴，脅持所有旅客。事件擾攘十一小時後，槍手被擊斃，但同時，有8名旅客被槍手殺死。其中一個家庭，5人中死了3人。
我起初還以為事情可以完滿解決，因為下午的報導說槍手冷靜，而且又有人質被釋放。怎料晚上7時多，報導說所有人質已被擊斃，到最後說有8名旅客死亡。真傷心。
我起初以為兇手是惡怖份子，他們都受到什麼民族宗教情仇推動作案。原來槍手原是一名出色的警員，後來因為涉嫌搶劫、敲詐和與毒品有關的罪行被革職，他聲稱清白，要求復職。
原來有人覺得自己的工作，比8條人命及他們的家庭重要。
願所以死傷者都得到安慰。

爨底下川 Cundixiachuan

2010-08-04T12:31:00.005+08:00

爨，意思是爐灶，粵語讀村，普通話讀cun4。這是一條有400多年歷史的小村落。

一直都想去北京的郊區旅遊，但卻一直沒有實現計劃。
上週未，跟2位人去了這條村。
早上5時起床，趕往車站坐7時半的大巴，熬兩個小時，終於到達爨底下川。
在這條村亂行閒逛，十分寫意。剛好當天遊人不太多，天氣不熱，更有微微的涼風，配上小村寧靜的環境，完全可以放下平日磨人工作的煩惱。

是夜住在村中，3個人合共50元。客棧的餐廳，面對大山與小屋的屋頂，清晨在餐廳發呆半小時，簡直是人生一大快事。

I want to visit suburb of Beijing for long, but I have never gone to such place until last week. I went to a 400-year-old village, Cundixiachuan, with two other people last week.
We got up at 5am for the bus scheduled at 730am. It takes two hours to reach the village.
I hang around the village, which is relaxing. There were not many tourists on that day, and this was a breezy day. I could forget my troublesome job in this tranquil village.
We stayed at a village house at night, costing 50 yuan for three people.
The restaurant at the village house faces the mountain and the rooftops of other small houses. I just sat at the restaurant doing nothing for half an hour, which I enjoy very much.

信樂團 - One Night In 北京

2010-07-25T13:53:00.000+08:00

前天跟組長唱K FAREWELL，他唱了這一首歌。我只有一個字形容：勁。

Goodbye team leader, and wish you all success

2010-07-22T13:34:00.000+08:00

Work over the past two weeks is not smooth because the supreme leaders screw everything up with their “new” and “revolutionary” ideas, which makes me more frustrated with the management.

And added to that negative sentiment is the departure of my excellent team leader, S, who is willing to take responsibilities, considerate to team members, and, say no to the unreasonable and impractical demands of the supreme leaders.

He has helped me a lot over the past months in getting used to the company, which I increasingly dislike.

I have expected his departure few months ago. Well, no one will stay in the company forever, and it is normal to have people coming in and out. But still I am saddened hearing his departure not only because I am worried about my work, but also it feels like that a friend is leaving for studying in overseas.

One of my colleagues described the team leader as a “robot,” who is energetic all the time dealing with various staff – both trivial and important ones. He is always caught in the middle of the management and team members, but he is not frightened to truly express his views to the management and not frightened to make decisions even though it involves risks. He bears a lot.

A robot needs to be recharged, and the leader needs to take some rest.

S, you are a great people to work with, and one of the best people I have worked with. You truly are. I truly wish you can put your mind at rest before stepping into a path that leads to a bright future. You truly deserve a promising future. May God bless you. Goodbye.

June 23

2010-06-25T00:17:00.001+08:00

In Beijing. Nothing special has happened actually. My aunt was here with me. She cooked some good dishes, including abalone.
I bought some ice-creams for colleagues, who later treated me a night meal after work.
Nothing special, but satisfied.

School life – Episode Five, Rise in chocolate ration

2010-06-22T13:08:00.001+08:00

The new year was approaching, and the Globe International School wanted to make up some good news. Remember, just make up, and no one was sure whether the good news would really happen at the end as the school management claimed.
Students of the school receive chocolate ration each month.
The big brothers of the school, which are nicknamed by some students as Gang of Four, and the supreme leader announced on the eve of the new year that the chocolate ration for each student will be increased.
Everyone in the school wants more chocolate, and they are all excited about the announcement.
However, right after the new year holiday, the Gang of Four made another announcement.
“For better management of the school, and to encourage you to work harder, we have imposed a work quantity for you. That means you have to hand in more homework and writings. Those who have done homework more than the quotas we have imposed will receive more chocolate, and those who have done less will of course receive less chocolate.”
Again, the students are all confused. Writing is an abstract thing. Sometimes it takes a week to write an excellent piece because of the extensive research work and it is not easy to write beautifully and vividly.
But the students are willing to work hard, and most of them have handed in more than the quotas.
That means the school will have to give more chocolates, and it is of course a burden to the school. Where can they find more chocolates to give out?
So the Gang of Four announced another policy. The homework and writings will be graded. Only those who have an A grade will receive full chocolate ration. Students with B grade will see their ration reduced by 10 percent, and a 20 percent ration reduction for C grade. Therefore, no one is sure whether they can get more chocolates at the end.
If it is a burden to the school, why does the management announce the chocolate rise?
The answer is not difficult to guess. By announcing a chocolate rise, the management can surely tell people that they are a good and healthy management who do want to give students more. Some students cannot get more chocolates just because they are not up to expectations. It is the students fault, and there is nothing wrong with the school.
The truth can really be distorted and manipulated.

My church in Beijing

2010-06-15T00:14:00.000+08:00

I have been joining the Beijing International Christian Fellowship in recent months. I cannot join all of the activities because of my work schedule.
Basically, I have joined two fellowship groups of the church. Most, or probably all, of the members are from Hong Kong.
One of the characteristics of an international church is that you can constantly see people moving in and out. There are newcomers to the church almost every week, and, of course, people leaving Beijing, either go back home or other cities because of work requirement. I have been in the church for a few months, and three people I know have left already.
This is an international church, which is established for non-Beijingers who come to the capital for studies and career development. And it is normal for people coming and leaving.
The church has congregations/ worships in about 10 languages, such as English, Putonghua and Cantonese. I go to the English and Cantonese worship.
The sermons over the week are about shedding lights and salt in workplace. I do believe it is an important message that I should learn. I occasionally lost temper at office. I think I should somehow control my temper.

P.S – I have not written for this blog as frequently as I used to. This is not because I have nothing to write about, but I do not know how to put them into words. I still wish to continue my school life story, and I will go to the remote part of Beijing for weekends. Hope I can take some pictures and write about the trips.

司馬台長城 Simatai Great Wall

2010-06-02T14:21:00.001+08:00

Spent a weekend with colleagues to go to the Great Wall (Simatai section). I had once thought of not joining them because my boss also would go there (Sorry, I do not want to meet my boss on days off.) Luckily, he and his family could not climb up very high, and they waited for us at the cable car station.
We spent about two hours walking up to the top of the section. The route is quite challenging because there are many big steps and steep slopes. But we can finally make it. The scenery is of course nice.
I have been to the touristic Badaling Great Wall. Badaling is not attractive. It is only a crowded place with loads of tourists, and it is heavily renovated.

在對上一個週未，與同事去司馬台長城。其實，因為老闆都去，我當初是想過不參加這活動(實在不想在假期看見老闆)。幸好老闆與他的家人沒有登頂，走到一半做到纜車站休息。
我們用大約2小時登頂。這條路線是挺難行，而且有陡峭的山坡。但這裡的風景比八達嶺好得多。
八達嶺只是一個人多的地方。八達嶺長城，經過多年的修復，已經沒有古代的風味。

Seek Ye First

2010-05-23T15:50:00.001+08:00

An old song. Sing it in the worship this morning.

Seek Ye first the kingdom of God,
And His righteousness,
And all these things, shall be added onto you,
Alleu, alleuia

Man shall not live by bread alone,
But by every word
That proceeds from the mouth of God
Alleu, Alleuia

Ask and it shall be given unto you,
Seek and ye shall find.
Knock and the door shall be opened onto you.
Alleu, Alleuia

Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things, shall be added onto you.
Alleu, Alleuia

令人想爆粗的宣傳片

2010-05-19T10:30:00.000+08:00

下面是香港政府宣傳2012政制改革方案的短片：

看完後，真係火起。

無野呀，依家係我有好多關於設計一條裙的ideas比左你，你無理到我d ideas，做左一條褲比我，仲expect我要好開心咁著條褲去party？現實情況同片入面阿媽照住個女的設計做條裙係完全相反。唔該講清楚，信任條件係你聽我同採納我ideas呀。

性與關節 Sex and arthritis

2010-05-18T10:58:00.001+08:00

最近因為關節有點痛，去看中醫調理一下。中醫博大精深，既然來到內地，就試一試。
醫師在我身上按壓檢查，問了一些問題。這些問題完全是我意料不到。
「你結婚了嗎？」
「沒有。」
「那你與女朋友每月進行多少次？」
「嗯‧‧‧‧‧」
「行房」
「我沒有女朋友。」
「那自慰呢？」
「嗯‧‧‧‧‧」

我在想究竟這些問題對關節痛有什麼關係。

醫師解釋說：「腎管骨。行房時，你用上身體的五臟六腑。但在自慰時，五臟六腑不是全都用上。所以行房是對健康有益的。」

醫師繼而進行針灸，並說我要好好補腎。

正當我在疑惑他是否會建議我去召妓時，他嚴肅地說：「找個女朋友吧。」

他很嚴肅，我卻想笑。

一位朋友知道我的信仰，說：「女朋友是沒有用的，你要結婚。」

I feel pain in the joins these days and some people believe it is arthritis. Believing that I should try Chinese medicine on the mainland, I went to see a Chinese medicine practitioner yesterday

The doctor did some checks by pressing my body and asking some questions. The questions are really out of my expectations.

“Are you married?” the doctor asked.
“No.”
“How often do you do it with your girlfriend?”
“Ah…..”
“Lovemaking.”
“I have no girlfriend.”
“How about masturbation?”
“Ah……” I am wondering how is it related to arthritis problem.

“Kidney is related to the bones and joints,” the doctor said. “In lovemaking, you are actually exercising the vital organs of your body (heart, spleen, liver, lungs and kidneys). However, not all vital organs of the body is in use during masturbation. So Doing it several times a month is beneficial to your body and health.”

Then the doctor performed an acupuncture on me and advised me to do something to “preserve my health.”

When I was about to ask what can I do without a wife or girlfriend, and whether I should hire prostitute, he said, “Go find a girlfriend.”

The doctor is serious, and I have difficulty restraining my laugh.

My friend, who knows my religious belief, said, “Merely a girlfriend is useless. You should get married.”

Can I say our youngsters are spoiled nowadays.

2010-05-14T23:47:00.002+08:00

An elderly man came to our office a few months ago. He approached the supervisor and said his granddaughter or daughter had sent a job application letter to the company, and asked if the company would hire her or grant her an interview. The supervisor, of course, did not give any affirmative answer to the question.
A few days ago, I went to Tianjin with my parents. We stumbled upon a large group of people in their late 40s, 50s or even 60s in a park. These people are not protesting against the authority, nor enjoying a day-off in the park. They are looking for a spouse for their children.
These parents write down the basic information of their children on a piece of paper. The information includes job and whether the child has an apartment.
The parents just keep waiting to see if the parents of other children will be attracted to theirs.
I talked to one of the parents, and he said he comes to the park every day.

One of the parents.

What’s wrong with youngsters, or parents, nowadays?
If the girl really needs a job, why doesn’t she come to our office asking for it? It seems that the girl has done nothing apart from writing an application letter, and she lets her father or grandfather begging for a job for her. Or the old man is so desperate that he comes to our office without telling the girl?
And why let your parents standing in the park a whole day to find you a spouse? I personally believe that this kind of match-making isn’t work. And if you are not destined to meet your Ms/ Mr Right, then so be it.

School life – Episode Four, Nationality counts

2010-05-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

Peter enjoys the writing class of Globe International School (GIS). He loves writing, but he is not good at it, and therefore, he will ask the native English teachers (NETs) of the school to polish his composition before submitting to the writing teacher, whose mother tongue is not English.
The writing teacher spotted some grammatical mistakes, like missing an “s” in the verbs, and some repetitive words in a sentence.
Well, Peter believes he can have a good laugh about these mistakes, and some minor corrections will fix the problems. These are careless mistakes, or probably typo errors.
But the writing teacher is a fussy man, who fails to appreciate creative writing style but think big of himself by picking up minor errors.
“Who polish this writing?” he marked on the composition, before sending a copy to the Big Brother.
He repeatedly asked Peter which NET polished his story, and Peter reluctantly said the name.
“Even junior primary school student will not make such mistake,” the fussy teacher said.
“OK, I’ll fix it,” Peter said.
“Where does the NET come from?” the fussy man asked.
What the heck? Peter thought. How does one’s nationality relate to his English standard and capability?
“He is back home,” Peter replied, trying to divert the topic.
But the fussy man did not back down. “Where does he come from?”
“Canada,” Peter said, of course reluctantly.
“Oh, Canada,” the fussy teacher said, before going away.
Peter believes asking someone’s nationality after something wrong has happened is offensive, insulting, and disrespectful to others, and it may be an offense in some countries.
The school has been established for several decades, and employing NETs for quite a number of years. And the people here still behave like that.

School life – Episode three, Involuntary volunteer

2010-05-01T13:56:00.000+08:00

As a self-claimed well established school, Globe International School (GIS) sometimes does charity work and encourages students to contribute. On several occasions, students are encouraged to donate money or be volunteers for charity groups.
This week, a NGO approached several schools in the district, including GIS, and asked for some volunteers to help them build an orphanage for children whose parents died in disaster.
Most of the students are willing to give a helping hand, and have signed up to be a volunteer. Some signed up for 100 hours of volunteer work, and some for 30 hours, some for 10 hours, depending on their availability.
When the students were happily doing the good deeds, the Big Brothers seemed unhappy and summoned all students to the assembly.
Here is the message of the Big Brothers.
“Thank you for signing up to be a volunteer. But you know, the total number of volunteer work hours signed up by you guys is the least compared with that of other schools in the district. In that sense, we are not performing up to expectations. I encourage you to do more volunteer work for the orphanage. So think about whether you can do more and how you can do more. And of course, whether you want to do more is up to your decision. It is your time.”
OK, the students thought, It is up to our decision and let us think whether we could do more.
But shortly after that meeting, the Big Brothers summoned the top student of each class to another meeting. And the message, or perhaps order, is as follow,
“As the top student of each class, you will need to do 500 hours of volunteer work. That’s it. Dismiss.”
Encouragement is a lie. Enforcement is true.

School Life – Episode Two, Penalty

2010-04-27T00:15:00.001+08:00

Students of the Globe International School (GIS) were anxiously waiting in the classroom. This was the announcement day of the mid-term examination result.
When Peter got the exam result slip, he was shocked. He found out that his attendance grade is deducted, and that his general exam points have also gone down.
Peter demanded an explanation from the headmaster, who is dubbed as the Big Brothers by students.
The headmaster, Lion, told Peter that his attendance grade is deducted because he skipped school for one day.
“Aren’t we supposed to have one day off from class each month?” asked Peter.
“No, we do not allow that anymore,” Lion said.
“When? Why there is no one telling me that the policy is cancelled?” asked Peter, confused but angry.
“It has been cancelled. I don’t need to tell anyone. I can change policy whenever I want,” Lion replied.
Fine, Peter thought, because he really took an extra day off from class last month. But he was still puzzled about the deduction in his examination points.
“Because you took an extra day off, so you could not complete some class work and thus your examination points were deducted,” Lion told Peter.
What a ridiculous explanation, Peter thought. Yes, he has taken an extra day off, but he always does extra class work on other school days, and the quantity of class work he has completed is no less than his classmates.
“You already lowered my attendance grade. How can you also deduct my examination points? It is double penalty!” yelled Peter.
“Bingo. It is. It is my job, constantly finding excuses to lower your exam points,” Lion said.
When Peter wanted to say how unfair the policy is, his classmate Sherry interrupted. Sherry’s exam points were also deducted and Lion said it was because she took a day of sick leave last month.
“Are you kidding me?” Sherry said.
“No, I am not. I am serious. Because you took sick leave, you could not complete some class work, and thus your exam points were deducted,” Lion said.
“I am sick,” Sherry defended.
“That does not matter,” Lion said.
“I still have to go to school even if I am sick?” Sherry asked.
“I am afraid you have to,” Lion said.
“What’s the point of that? If I was sick or had a fever, I still could not do the class work even though I came to school,” Sherry said.
“You still have to come to school and try to do some class work,” Lion said.
“I would be spreading the diseases to others if I came to school when I was sick,” Sherry said.
“I don’t care about that. You have to be present even though you are sick, or you pay the price for being absent. This is an order,” Lion said.
Sherry was speechless, and she was wondering whether this Mr Lion had been sick before. Mr Lion had been sick and needed to stay in hospital for days, and Sherry wondered whether he had been penalized for that.

School Life – Episode One, Dictation

2010-04-26T21:35:00.001+08:00

In this story, everything happened inside a university or college. This is a poorly written story, just about what I am interested in and what I think.

School name: Globe International School (GIS)
Main character: Peter, a student

Peter was shocked today because his English teacher Tan Ping, an old fashioned guy who cannot think of anything else but asking students to memorize vocabularies, told him that there will be a dictionary dictation next week.
“What?” Peter exclaimed.
“Dictionary dictation. Please go home to memorize the dictionary. If you fail to pass the dictation, you will be given lashes,” the teacher said. “And remember, we are learning American STYLE English. If you write in British STYLE, you will lose points.”
“What is the passing mark and how many lashes if I fail?” Peter asked.
“I don’t know yet. I will decide after the dictation,” the teacher replied.
“What’s the point of having a dictionary dictation? Dictionary is something that we can check. We don’t need to memorize that. We should learn vocabularies by using them, but not by memorizing the dictionary,” Peter said.
“I don’t care what you feel! You need to memorize. That’s how I learn. The dictation will be at 8 am next Wednesday,” the teacher said.
“8 am! It is too early. Classes start at 9am. We have to come here early for the dictation?” Peter said.
“Yes!” the teacher exclaimed.

Team Leader

2010-04-15T12:14:00.003+08:00

Meeting good people is essential for surviving in any places, especially when I am in a strange city.
Thanks God. My colleagues are nice and cooperative, and I am particularly impressed by my team leader SJ. We do have clashes sometimes, but he really deserves my respect.
SJ, about one year younger than me, is really patient. He still smiles sometimes when I am rude to him, probably because I have lost temper out of some ridiculous arrangements.
And whenever the big brothers are making things chaos, and causing trouble to me, he always comes to my rescue. Yes, you can say it is part of his job to deal with the big brothers, but my life will be like hell without his help.
I, growing up in other city which shares different systems and values, is still getting used to living here, and on many occasions, I cannot stand the big brothers and disagree with some of SJ's ideas. But I think he has tried to understand how I think.
Sometimes, my thinking clashes with the others, which lead to big troubles for him. On one occasion, he had to write a retrospective essay because of the “mistakes”I have made (something that the big brothers believed is a serious mistakes, but I find nothing wrong) . But still, he did not blame me or scold me, and tried to console me when I was very upset by that trouble.
Last but not least, he volunteered to help when I needed to move apartment last month.

Thanks.

青島遊/ Qingdao/ Tsing Tao

2010-04-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

上個月去了青島玩三天。上機前一晚發燒，速速光顧貴價私人診所，幸好上機時已退燒。
基本上，三天都是悠閒遊。沒有安排什麼特定的行程。第一天去了歷史博物館，博物館介紹青島在德治及日治時期的情況，我的印象是，博物館對德治時期的評價好像比較正面。
博物館後，去了八大關，就是歐式建築物的集中地，幾舒服。
第二天，去了青島啤酒博物館。很多東西看，有2杯免費啤酒飲(其中一杯更是原漿啤酒)。玩了大半天。
第三天，去了德治時期的監獄及康有為故居。
悠悠閒閒。
我真的很想放假，放長假。

Had been to Tsing Tao for three days last month. Got fever the night before on board the plane, and I paid a huge amount of dollar to a private clinic. Luckily, the fever eased the next day.
The three days are leisure tour. No planned itinerary. I visited the history museum on the first day. The museum has details about Tsing Tao when it was being ruled by German and Japan. My impression is that the museum has, comparatively speaking, more positive comments about German.
On the second day, I visited the Tsing Tao Beer Museum, which is an obligatory item in the city. I got two cups of free beer.
On the third day, I visited a German prison and the residence of Kang Youwei.
I like the leisure tour.
I really need a holiday, long holiday.

搬家 Moving Apartment

2010-03-15T13:06:00.000+08:00

因為業主要提早收樓，所以我要搬家。業主說，他現時居住的房子也是租的，他的房東不續約，所以他就要收回我的房子了。我不太相信他的話，但因為他的房子實在是有點遠，而且租金不便宜，所以我便答應他的要求。
剛過去的星期六搬家了。新居400呎左右，較之前的小180呎左右，而且是studio flat，即開放式無間隔居所。但租金較上一間房子便宜400元，而且比較近上班地點。由我家打的上班，一般不超過16元，比以前便宜了10元。

I have to move apartment because my landlord wants to have his flat back earlier than scheduled. The landlord said he is living in a rented flat, and the owner of that flat has decided not to renew the rental contract, and therefore, he needs to have my flat back. I do not trust him. But I still accept his demand because 1) his flat is quite far away from my office, and 2) the rent is not cheap.
I had moved to the new apartment on Saturday. The new flat is about 400 sq feet, about 180 sq feet smaller than the last flat. The new flat is a studio flat. The rent is 400 yuan cheaper than the last one, and quite close to the office. It takes only about 16 yuan to get to the office by taxi, which is 10 yuan cheaper.

Argument Two

2010-02-25T14:19:00.001+08:00

Have an argument, but not crash, with my team leader again.
We are working on a piece concerning children and women trafficking to China from Vietnam. An article by a Vietnamese news agency said the number of children and women illegally sent to China accounted for 65 percent of all trafficking cases. The article said most of the women were sent to China to work as prostitute, illegal workers, and were forced to marry Chinese men.
In some extreme cases, some of the victims will have their organs surgically removed and sold, the article said.
It is that sentence concerning organs trading triggering our debate.

My team leader asked to delete that statement for the following reasons;
1) This is a statement made by Vietnam, and there is no Chinese authorities proving whether the situation is true;
2) Organs trading is not the focus of the article;
3) Organs trading sounds very horrible;
4) There are allegations that illegal organs trading exist in China. If we publish the statement without verifying whether it is true, is it an indirect acknowledgment that illegal organs trading really happens in the country. Illegal organs trading is not something desirable;
5) The statement is an “allegation” that may be offensive to someone.

I do not agree with his reasons because;
1) We are quoting from a Vietnam news agency, and we have made attribution;
2) We sometimes quote information from other Chinese media without verifying its authenticity. Why do we have to apply a different standard to Vietnamese press? His answer, “Because it is overseas.”;
3) I don’t think the statement is an allegation. It is not accusing anyone of any wrongdoings, but merely pointing out the situation;
4) Organs trading is very horrible, I admit. This is one of the reasons why we are concerned with human trafficking. People tricked into other countries may not only be forced to work as prostitutes or slaves, but have their organs removed and they may die;
5) Organs trading is not a focus of the article, but it is parts of the problem of human trafficking.

As expected, I loss. The statement is not published.

Again, I don’t think I am wrong.

Argument Two

2010-02-25T14:19:00.000+08:00

計劃Planning

2010-02-19T13:28:00.000+08:00

人生真的要計劃嗎？我們會計劃投資、結婚、生孩子、買房子、旅行及讀書等等。
問這個問題，是因為在這農曆新年，發生了一件不幸的事。
初一，收到一通電話，說舊同事在數星期前入院，被診斷患上情況嚴重的癌症，曾經昏迷。
同事育有一孩子。
林林總總的計劃，說起來可能很吸引，但一個病，已經將你辛勞的成果化為烏有。
但不計劃又不行，究竟如何找出平衡點呢？

食道炎及腸胃不適，讓我一度擔心自己是不是身患危疾。在情況稍為好轉時，又聽到同事患病這消息，剛巧這時我的腳又好像有一點腫，我的驚慌又來了。

Do we really need to plan for our life? We will plan to do some investment, get married, have a baby, buy a house, go travelling and studying.
I ask this question because something unfortunate has happened during the Lunar New Year.
I received a phone call on the first day of the Lunar New Year. I was told that a former colleague was admitted to hospital a few weeks ago, and the colleague was diagnosed with advanced cancer.
My colleague has a son.
The various plans we have sound attractive. But the achievements of our hard working efforts would have gone up in smoke by a sudden illness.
But it seems that life will not work without planning. How to make a balance?

My esophagus and stomach illness is having a bad impact on me, psychologically. I was once worried that whether I had serious disease. And now I have heard this unfortunate news of my old colleague when my situation is getting better. My paranoid seems have come back, and one of my legs is swollen.

回香渡歲二Back HK for Lunar New Year II

2010-02-19T13:02:00.000+08:00

七天的假期，有兩天在澳門，在香港留了五天，便趕回京工作。
在香港的日子非常充實，時間表由早餐開始，一直至宵夜。沒辦法，假期短，而想見的人又多。
年三十，從澳回港，在家吃團年飯。
初一，返教會，在家吃午飯，與Shiham吃下午茶，再與行家Maggie及Una吃下午茶，回家吃晚飯。
初二，早上看阿凡達Imax版，再與舊同事Matthew、Dennis、Wendy及Emily吃午飯。下午到醫院探病人，晚上與家人吃開年飯。後再與行家Damon、Grace及昇宵夜。
初三，與香港仔舊同事飲茶，再到兔家與教會CELL員相聚，再與舊教育BEAT行家吃飯。
初四，看醫生拿化驗報告，與中六七同學Mabel、Lily及大佬吃午飯，再看黑鬼醫生，與PHOTOG Edmond及 Doris吃下午茶，再與另一班虎報舊同事吃晚飯，後與中學同學Amy飲一杯。
初五，與Cassie吃早餐，再與大學同學Tiff吃午飯，回家與家人及中學同學老曾吃下午茶，之後回京。
時光飛逝，如果有一樣發明，可以讓人把美好的時光留住便好。

I spent two days in Macau for the seven-day holiday. I only stayed in HK for five days, then back to Beijing to work.
I had a hectic schedule in HK. I started from breakfast, and ended my day with late night meals or drinks. The holiday is too short, and I want to meet as many people as I can.
Lunar New Year’s eve: Had family reunion dinner after getting back from Macau.
First day: Went to church. Had lunch with family, then had tea with Shiham, and another tea with Maggie and Una before going home for dinner.
Second day: Went for Avatar, Imax version. Had lunch with old colleagues Matthew, Dennis, Wendy and Emily. Then went to hospital to visit a patient. Had “New Year dinner” with family before having late night drinks with Damon, Grace and Ronson, who work in the same industry.
Third day: Went yum cha with Aberdeen’s ex-colleagues before going to Florence’s home to have a gathering with church goers. Then had dinner with other education beat people.
Fourth day: Went to get medical report from doctor. Had lunch with S6 and S7 classmates Mabel, Lily and Vincent. Went to see doctor Hak Gwai. Had tea with photog Edmond and Doris. Had dinner with former colleagues of Standard and tea with S6 and S7 classmate Amy.
Fifth day: Had breakfast with Cassie. Had lunch with university classmate Tiff. Had tea with family and S1-S5 classmate Michael. Went back to Beijing.
Time flies. If there was an invention that can freeze the good moment, I would appreciate.

回香渡歲 Back HK for Lunar New Year

2010-02-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

回香數天，見家人及朋友。
Back HK for a few days to visit family and friends.

Argument

2010-02-11T12:31:00.000+08:00

I had a crash with my team leader last night, but it was not offensive to him personally.
One of my colleagues wrote a story about a meaningless promotion event hosted by our mother company. I checked the story and found it meaningless, but we still had to run it because it was our mother company promotional event.
The story then went to my team leader, and he said the story was not good because it did not stress sufficiently on how well the mother company was doing.
He asked for the original copy of the story. Then he called my colleague, asking whether she had extra information about the mother company.
I was confused and asked, “Isn’t the mother company name on the headline? Isn’t the first few paragraphs about the mother company?”
He replied, “That is not enough.”
I lost temper and said, “We have already included the mother company name on the headline and the first few paragraphs. Why do we have to add extra to promote?”
He replied loudly, “We write it because we have to promote. The mother company organized the event for promotion.”
I burst out, “To me, this is just a meaningless stuff and non-sense. Why do we have to put so much effort to make it look like a masterpiece of something? Non-sense stuff is non-sense.”
I did not say that we are working for news page, and such promotion stuff should, theoretically, not appear on the page. And I believe meaningless stuff should be treated in a meaningless way. I understand it is the event of our mother company, but having its name appeared on the headline and the first few paragraphs is enough.
“We all know this is meaningless. No one wants to make it a good story,” the leader said. “But we have to promote, and only having the first few paragraph talking about it and the remaining part of the story talking about something else is inappropriate.”
“I disagree,” I said.
He later said via MSN that he himself was reluctant to make changes to the story, but the original copy would not pass the senior management. He was right, the big boss asked for a revamp of the whole story.
I don’t want to argue, but it is the story checked by me and I have to say my opinion. Perhaps I should better control my temper, but I don’t think I am wrong.

罷吃

2010-02-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

先回一回Teoh，胃酸反流的一個原因就是飲食習慣不好引起，飲食不定時、多吃太油太咸等食物、又或多飲奶茶咖啡都是主因。
沒錯，在北京也有好的醫院和醫生，不過他們的收費昂貴。最出名的醫院和睦家收掛號費1,000元，其他私人醫生收掛號費700元。掛號費並不包括藥物。在京城有2家公立醫院設有國際部，收費大約100元至300元(不包藥物)，其他普通門診收費十多元。付昂貴費用的好幾就是省卻排隊時間，國際部與普通門診共用同一班醫生，亦即是，質素一樣。

入正題。
本人的公司，為員工提供免費的晚餐。晚餐只有一款，沒有其他選擇。這款晚餐，絕對不算是好吃，不過，因為免費，也就勉強接受。
但不知道廚師是不是出了什麼狀況，晚餐的質素每況愈下。前幾天的晚餐是一款肉丸，看上去沒有不妥，但咬一口後，嘩，我完全覺得自己是在咀嚼一埋軟棉棉的化學物質，簡直不是給人吃的東西，真的受不了，把它吐出來，吃其他的青菜算了。
翌日的晚餐，主吃竟然是炸肉丸，咬一口後，吞不下，決定把整份晚餐當垃圾丟掉，去其他餐廳買外賣。我知道浪費食物是一件很折墮的事，但實在受不了。而且，我決定要罷食公司的晚餐了。
之後的一天，主菜竟又是炸肉丸，我肯定是前一晚剩餘的材料。連其他同事都怨聲載道了。
據說公司的晚餐要15元一份，而在外面買一盒好吃一億萬倍的飯盒，也不用20元。其實公司大可以給員工錢去吃外賣，不用再訂那連豬都吃不下的飯盒。

平安

2010-02-06T00:41:00.001+08:00

因為胃酸反流，以致胸口痛，至現在，已持續近兩個月。
最初不知胃酸反流會引致胸口痛，以為自己是心臟有問題，看醫生後才知是食道的問題。
吃了兩個星期的藥，情況反覆。這裡的醫生，真的不能給病人信心。第一次看病時，就叫你照胃鏡檢查。而人在內地，更令人情緒低落。
真的，持續的痛楚令人心痛不快，我是非常擔心自己是不是患上很嚴重的病。
情緒備受困擾的我，最終決定回港做胃鏡檢查。
初步檢查結果，是食道發炎，醫生又順道抽了組織化驗，說幾天後有結果。
出院後翌日回京。心裡仍不斷地問自己是不是患上嚴重的病。我爸已證實患上老人痴呆症，給我媽一定的壓力了。如果我患上重病，對她的打擊豈不很大？而我又要不要辭去工作呢？
這兩個月不斷的禱告，求有平安。
禱告後，我真的相信，無論是什麼情況，天父都一定保守帶領。過程會辛苦，但祂仍會保守。
求平安，真的是很重要。要求的，未必是叫神把病消除，而是在面對的過程中感到平安。
昨天，醫生說化驗報告正常。
我的食道仍然在痛，除了治療外，我還要求平安。

蔡子強﹕需要世代對話，而非世代戰爭

2010-01-21T12:35:00.000+08:00

【明報專訊】前一陣子，有一批自稱「50後的專業人士」，於報章發表全版聲明，呼籲立法會議員支持高鐵撥款，他們自稱自己在大學時代積極支持學運，以行動爭取公義和民主，卻批評反對人士「假專業」，把事件「政治化」。

我看了這份聲明時，第一個反應是瞧不起他們。他們對別人提出諸如「假專業」這類嚴重指控，但卻連道出自己姓名的勇氣和承擔也沒有，是相當不負責任的行為，枉稱學運分子。但後來與一些朋友聊起，他們卻說也不盡然，在今天這樣的一個環境，真的道出姓名，怎麼知道會不會被那些激烈網民，進行人肉搜索、網上欺凌。這種論調，我聽了好幾次，而且往往是出於中生代之口。

我不知道這是否那群人沒有道出姓名的真正原因，但至低限度，朋友們的說話，卻反映出，社會上不同世代的人，彼此對對方的成見和不信任，正在惡化。一次高鐵事件，尤其是上周六於立法會門外發生的衝突，更把這種成見，推向一個新的高峰。

我一向鼓勵學生關心社會，為社會爭取公義。一群年輕人，不為選票，不為金錢，不為任何利益，只為別人快將湮沒的家園走上街頭，其出發點是令人感動和尊敬，以至喝采的。

動機雖然高尚但手段值得商榷

但高尚的道德動機，卻並不代表可以合理化過程中出現任何的不當行為。集會現場絕大多數人都是和平理性的，而事實上，組織者如朱凱迪和司徒薇等，便不斷呼籲會眾要冷靜抗爭，「今日不要受任何挑釁，不需要衝，不需要撞，我們人數已經贏了。不要暴力，我們要用和平方式，快樂抗爭！」他們，還有很多很多人，都如徐詠璇所說，是「混亂矛盾中，正義堅貞的力量」。

但是任何一場大型社會運動，都有很多不能預計的火花，我們不能因為這些零星的越軌行為，而否定了整場運動，但卻有必要指出當中的不當，而不能因為政治正確的理由，而視若無睹。

你可能覺得我說的很多話也不中聽，但作為一個知識分子，我覺得有責任道出心裏感到之不妥，雖然在風頭火勢之下，我知道這絕對不會討好。正如呂大樂所說，今天鼓掌是沒有代價的，在報章寫些評論，說些「今天誰也不怕誰」、又或者「只有犯錯的政府沒有犯錯的人民」之類的說話，無疑十分慷慨激昂，痛快淋漓，但卻會起覑火上加油的效果。

我相信向別人擲水樽，又或者在示威現場把玻璃樽摔向地上，是過了火位的；

我相信以打火機燒記者背包，也是過了火位的；

我相信衝擊立法會，都是過了火位的；

我相信對不同意見人士，在今次是一些在Facebook發表意見的女記者，進行人肉搜索、網上欺凌，更加是絕對過了火位的﹗

我不想把這些零星行為無限放大，但我也不想對此視而不見。否則若然有一天，這些行為不幸變本加厲的話，將很有可能引起社會反彈到另一個極端，收窄社運的空間。

替天行道的虛妄

因為自信掌握了真理和公義，而進行擲樽、燒別人背包、衝擊立法會、又或者人肉搜索、網上欺凌的個別人士，我想向他們再說一次，幾個月前我在《明報》這個專欄寫過那篇〈替天行道的虛妄〉，當中的一段說話：

「他們每個人心目中，都有自己所認定的『正義』，覺得自己理直氣壯，大義凜然。那可以是愛國主義；也可以是雙普選；又或者是公投。

他們的武器，或許不像死亡筆記般殺人於無形，又或者國家機器般赤裸和刺眼，但卻可以一樣的橫蠻和暴力。他們常常辯說自己沒有軍隊，亦不能抓人坐牢，因此不要過分渲染，但當你進行網上欺凌，又或者訴諸街頭恐嚇時，我看不到受害者所面對的壓力和恐懼，會與國家機器加諸的白色恐佈，有什麼大分別。

權力，本來就不單是只有國家機器的那一種形式，國家機器從來都不是分界的標準 ……

不錯，世上有很多醜惡和不公的事，但當我們打算匡扶自己心目中那份﹃正義﹄，替天行道時，或許應該先看看《死亡筆記》的故事，再想一想，我們會否過於遇神殺神，遇佛殺佛，為世間造成更大的不公義。」

我想過去幾百年人類文明的一大進步，就是放棄在各種不同理念和信仰中，找出一套唯我獨尊的終極真理，而接受一個多元社會的概念，轉而尋求在遊戲規則之上，找尋一套彼此可以接受、保障到各方的共識。

如果大家今天因為憤憤不平而犧牲了這套規則時，進行前述提過的越軌行為時，就可能會授人以話柄，當有一天維園阿伯要衝進立法會；又或者國家機器對你進行人肉搜索、網上欺凌時，你的申訴、抗爭，都變得軟弱無力。

正如呂大樂周二在《信報》撰文所說：

「規範與秩序並不只是一方的壓迫工具，它同時也保障到另一方。它不單只會束縛我們，而是也可限制反對我們的人。全面否定規範與秩序，大家都要付出很大代價。 …… 而在他們眼中，目的可以令一切手段都變得合理，既然目標正義，那就不必拘泥於什麼規範、倫理了。對於上述意見，我要強調：不顧議會民主的規範和倫理，最後一定不會達到大家共同追求的真民主。」

每次當我寫這些題目時，都會惹來一些網絡上的指摘，說是上一代對他們這些第四代/80後年輕人，指指點點，評點江山。但我想，是不是我們什麼都不說，就是解決世代間矛盾分歧的最好方法呢﹖我只能要求自己盡量平和、理性的道出心中覺得的不妥，但卻不認為自己應該什麼都不說，雖然這是明哲保身的最好方法。

撕裂源於誤解

如今社會的其中一大傷口，是一邊覺得遭上一代人重重打壓，誤會曲解；而相反，另一邊卻覺得下一代不可理喻，尤其是他們的網絡暴力。兩種看法都明顯以偏概全，但卻成了醞釀彼此間敵意、以至世代戰爭的一大根源。

喚起社會對下一代人處境關注的《四代香港人》那本書，是由呂大樂——一個第二代人所寫的，看過的朋友都知道，當中對覑他自己屬於的第二代人，有覑很多尖銳、深刻以及無情的批判；相反，對於第三、四代人，尤其是他們的困難，抱覑很大的同情及理解。

所以世間不是絕對的「存在決定意識」的，如果大家肯多抱一分冷靜、耐性、和包容，我相信世代間的對話和溝通是可能的。

今天，我們需要的是世代之間的對話，而非世代間之戰爭。

作者是中文大學政治與行政學系高級導師

明報2010年1月21日

三年又三年 Three years after three years

2010-01-21T12:33:00.001+08:00

這絕對不是一篇好文章。
關於廣深港高速鐵路的示威近日引來關注與爭議。示威者反對鐵路的原因是造價太高，而香港已是一個過度發展的城市，再興建一條大型鐵路，會對城市的文化造成影響。

示威者亦表達他們對香港政治體制的不滿。當局推行政策時沒有恰當及廣泛地咨詢公眾。而香港的政制相當畸形，在議會當中，一半的議席是由親政府人士佔有，以致不受歡迎的法案與計劃亦獲通過。

我不在香港，沒有目睹示威的過程。因此，也無法評論示威者是否過激、過份或暴力。

我關心的是政府如何解讀示威者及他們的訴求。

在1月6日明報的李先知專欄刊登了一篇文章。文章引用政府消息說：「許多年近三十的年輕人，無法置業成婚，被迫繼續與父母同住，眼白白看着樓價飈升，那種無力和挫折感覺，很容易轉化成對政府和地產商的仇視，甚至認定這些不公平的情况是官商勾結造成的。」

似曾熟識的聲音。
三年前，我在皇后碼頭。當時，一班示威者在皇后碼頭露宿，反對當局為建道路網而把碼頭清拆。示威者指，碼頭有長遠的歷史，應該要保留下來。
當時，政府對示威者的不滿及訴求作同樣解讀，又答應日後會多聽年青人的意見。
三年了，同樣的事情又發生，當局又搬出同樣的解讀。

This is not a good piece.
The protest against the Guangzhou-Shenzhen-Hong Kong Express Rail Link has triggered a lot of attention and controversy these days. The protesters said they oppose the rail link because it is costly and Hong Kong is already over-developed, meaning having the mega railway will further damage the city’s traditions and culture.
The protesters also expressed their frustrations about the city’s political system that the government has not properly and widely consulted the public, and the legislature will still endorse unpopular government proposals because half of the seats are occupied by pro-government politicians.
I am not in Hong Kong, I have not witnessed the protests. Therefore, I cannot comment on whether the protesters are radical, gone too far and violent.
What I am concerned is how the government interprets the protest and the protesters demand.
This is what I have read in Ming Pao Daily on January 06. The article cited government sources.

“Many people who are close to 30 cannot get married, buy property and forced to continue living with their parents. Seeing the rising property prices, they feel powerless and frustrated. They can easily become hostile to the government and property developers, and believe that the unfairness is caused by collusion between the government and the business sector.”

That sounds very familiar to me. Three years ago, I was in the Queen’s Pier, where a group of protesters were camping inside in order to block the government to demolish the historical structure to make way for road network. Protesters said the pier, with a long history, should be preserved.

The government made similar interpretation of the protesters demand and frustrations, and pledged that they would listen to young people opinion.

Three years. Same thing happens again, and the same interpretation is offered.

煮食 Cooking

2010-01-11T13:35:00.002+08:00

京城的食物，太咸太油，常常食用不利健康。因此，最近決定學煮食。
先來煮皮蛋瘦肉粥，第一次煮時燶了，第二第三次煮時用電飯鍋，效果有改善。
想問如何弄蒸肉餅呢？

Beijing food is too salty and oily, eating too much is not good for health. I have to learn cooking.
First I made porridge of rice. The first attempt was a failure, and I had made some improvement in the second and third attempt.

寒流襲京 Cold snap

2010-01-05T13:03:00.003+08:00

現時氣溫零下10.8度。今天最高氣溫是零下8度，最低氣溫是零下16度，據說是五十年來最低溫。
我上身穿了一件普通背心內衣、一件保暖內衣、羊毛衣、外衣、冷衫、絨毛外套及長羽絨，合共7件衣服。下身穿了保暖褲及牛仔褲。還有手套、帽和厚襪。
光是穿衣，已用上20分鐘。

The temperature now is -10.8C. The highest temperature of today is -8C, and the lowest is -16C, which is said to be the lowest in 50 years. I wear a vest, a warm keeping (heat tech) underwear, wool cloth, a shirt, another wool cloth, a jacket and a down jacket. For the bottom part, I wear a warm keeping underpants and jeans. And I have gloves, hats and thick socks.
It takes 20 minutes to put on all these clothes.

Some good restaurants幾家好餐館

2010-01-02T22:48:00.005+08:00

WL來探望本人及側田。她與我去了以下幾家餐廳。
1) 大理
這家餐廳位於胡同裡面。每人收費100元。食客不可選擇吃什麼，一切都由廚師決定。100元一般包括2款涼菜及5款熱菜。坐在胡同裡吃飯幾特別。光是環境已值100元。

2) 小王府
在一公園裡面。據說其餃子是京城最好之一。餐廳亦有提供較便宜的烤鴨(70元半只)。

3) 1949
側田也有去
高級食府。三人埋單要800元(因為叫了幾杯紅酒)。這家餐廳裝修西化，其烤鴨比大董好吃。

WL came to visit me and Justin. She and I went to the following restaurants.
1) Dali Courtyard
The restaurant is located in a courtyard house. It costs 100 yuan per head. You cannot choose what to eat. The chef will decide what you are going to eat. Usually, 100 yuan includes two cold dishes and five hot dishes. It is interesting sitting in the courtyard eating the delicious Yunnan food. The environment is worth 100 yuan.

2) Xiaowangfu小王府
Located inside a garden. Its dumplings is said to be one of the best in Beijing. It also offers roasted Peking duck at a cheaper price (about 70 yuan for half).

3) 1949
Went there with Justin also.
The restaurant is located in a former industrial school site. It is expensive. It costs 800 yuan for three people, including several glasses of wine. The Peking duck is better than Da Dong. It is more like a westernized restaurant serving Chinese cuisine.

景山公園Jingshan Park

2010-01-02T22:09:00.002+08:00

今天下雪，特別去了景山公園，從高處望被雪覆蓋的紫禁城。
I go to Jingshan Park today to see a snow clad Forbidden City.

Merry Christmas in Beijing

2010-01-02T21:29:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas
My sister, her husband and two of her friends came here to visit me during Christmas.
Her flight was delayed for almost two hours because of foggy weather in Hong Kong, and she arrived here at about 6pm. We had to skip shopping at a cloth market, and immediately headed to Da Dong 大董restaurant for Peking duck.
The duck was delicious and not greasy. The other dishes were also good and they all looked attractive. A dinner for five people cost 844 yuan.

One dish at Da Dong.

Saturday
Weather was extremely cold on the Boxing Day with temperature dropped to about –10C, but we still went to the Great Wall as planned. We woke up at 7am and rushed to the station for the Great Wall train, which departed at 10am after a 30-minute delay.
Badaling was crowded. A big company organized a tour for its employees, bringing in hundreds of visitors. Some of them wore high-heel shoes, and had difficulty climbing the wall.

All of us were freezing, and we were reluctant to take our gloves off for taking pictures.
We walked for about two hours, and then took a block to go down and take the train departed at 3:30pm back to the city.
After that, we went to Nanluoguxiang 南鑼鼓巷 for a short walk. We went to滿福樓 for mutton hot pot. Fantastic is the word I can think of this restaurant. It has an old Beijing atmosphere. Its service is good, and the mutton is … wonderful. The roasted mutton shashlik should not be missed even though it cost 8 yuan each, four times higher than what the street vendors charge.
We got back to Nanluoguxiang for a Vanilla pancake.

Sunday.
I had to work, and they went to the Forbidden City and Wangfujing.

Monday.
We went to 都一處燒麥, established since the Qing dynasty, in Qianmen. The restaurant is not as good as the tour guide book has described, but it is still worth a visit. They went back to Hong Kong after that.

Thanks sister, for giving me a wonderful Christmas.

北京人

2009-12-20T01:38:00.000+08:00

想說說北京人好的一面。
1) J及T讓我在他們家住了近3星期，真的是白吃白住。在此先謝一聲。
2) 北京的士司機，很多時都不懂路況，常常反問你應該走那條路。不過，他們都很老實，試過有一次，司機多走了路，他就少收車資。
3) 也談談L君。L君是阿姨早前認識，但十分不熟落的人。他知道我來京後，幫我搬屋，還有請了我吃兩餐飯。為人真的很不錯。

北京人不太好的一面
1) 慢。原本約了3時送水機到家，結果5時才到。去中國聯通申請上網，可能要排一小時隊。而中國聯通服務處的門面，很像一間黑店。
2) 隨地吐痰。在街上隨時可看見人在吐痰。在新建的地鐵站可以見到，公車站更常見。以為故宮是文化遺址，應當要保護？照吐可也。

幾首林一峰的老歌

2009-12-14T13:18:00.000+08:00

這幾首歌，都是5-7年前的。近來在上班的公車途中聽，Relax。

一﹞ 數三聲

失憶失聲失戀失態怕失去樂趣
各有性格各有問題覺得極疲累
要這要那奢望太多慨嘆無伴侶
數三聲　鬆口氣　揮之則去
找東找西找點安慰再找晦氣
怕老怕痛怕太肉麻怕奄悶怕死
死忍死衝死做結果死火還是你
數三聲　死不了　不必生氣
無陽光　送車尾　壞天氣　不可以避
無人能明白你的身心有多累
皺著眉怨著誰你會老幾歲
心急心嗡心灰心碎快交惡運了
切記教訓太肚餓時腦筋亦廢掉
緊張抑鬱操心過度快要淪陷了
數三聲　笑一笑　細胞沒有減少
世界繼續壞　你要繼續捱
但你會有力量　數三聲　即管笑
當你懂得笑　當你懂得笑　當你懂得笑
二﹞ 給最開心的人

窮途末路之時我急需的是你聲音
每當天色陰沈你就像太陽為我暖心
對於朋友你的細心已足夠花去半數時間
尚有精神娛樂大家從沒離群

情路段段不幸你用辦法沒有上心
還要利用經驗叫身邊的人勇敢
對於情感你很有心
卻未曾聽過你埋怨
為了打救旁人幸福沒時間傷心

感激你最開心的人
陪伴著我每個無眠夜深
用你笑聲修補我不幸
過濾失落重獲信心
只不過誰為你認真
習慣了悲哀中救傷的你
沒法放開開心的責任
抱著心事無人問壯烈犧牲

每當落淚之前你可想找誰人說話
每當熱鬧之後你最想誰為你留下
記得有天你失了蹤
我頓時驚覺我未能夠
像你一半有耐性為旁人粗心

感激你最開心的人
陪伴著我每個無眠夜深
用你笑聲修補我不幸
過濾失落重獲信心
只不過誰為你認真
習慣了悲哀中救傷的你
沒法放開開心的責任
抱著心事無人問壯烈犧牲

多得你最開心的人
陪伴著我每個難熬夜深
用你笑聲粉飾了天地
告別失望無懼氣溫
只不過誰為你著緊
習慣了悲哀中救傷的你
沒法放開開心的責任
抱著心事無人問壯烈犧牲

若你想哭即管放心吧
我不會過問
你可盡情在我肩膊哭泣
做個凡人

三﹞ The best is yet to come ﹝At17版本﹞

永遠有一個吻未嘗　有些燭光未燃亮
若愛太苦要落糖　結他斷線亦無恙
To hug someone To kiss someone
The best is yet to come

若要錯失永不能守
得到也不代表長久
假使快樂有盡頭
痛苦也未會不朽

寂寞半點假如不能承受
這生命註定過得不易
笑與淚　亦有時候
To hug someone To kiss someone
The best is yet to come

若你說不再聽情歌
不想再經歷這漩渦
假使抱住你拳頭
到底也沒法牽手

就是為了追求一時平靜
將感情隔離半點感動都扼殺　沒法承受

永遠有不妥協傷口　有些憾事不放手
若你太刻意淡忘　越會補不到缺口
Why don't you just hug someone
Just kiss someone
The best is yet to come
最好的尚未來臨

No choice

2009-12-03T12:06:00.001+08:00

Weeks ago, my company organized a sports day on a Saturday. The management encouraged all the staff to participate .
I am not a sports enthusiast, and Saturday is a day-off. I don’t want to wake up damn early on Saturday and waste my day off to do something that I am not interested in. And, I don’t like group activity.
I asked whether I could not participate in the sports day.
The answer is “No”.
I am not encouraged, but “summoned” to it.

The extreme weather conditions have affected northern part of China recently. Some poor people do not have enough material to stand the cold weather.
My company organized a donation, asking all staff to give away 30 yuan. The donations will be given to the people in need through a government department.
I don’t mind giving to needy people. I did that after a massive earthquake struck Sichuan last year as many people did.
Can I choose to donate to organizations which I believe can put my money to better use?
The answer, again, is “No, sorry”.

No choice. That’s our spirit.

紫禁城(故宮)/ Forbidden City (Palace Museum)

2009-11-21T00:58:00.009+08:00

上星期六去了紫禁城，當天雖無下雪，但天氣仍十分寒冷，間中有寒風吹來，涷得手也硬了。事後跟J&T說起，他們都問：「這麼冷你還去故宮？」
紫禁城這三個字，對我來說，很有吸引力。我可以不去長城，但不可以不去紫禁城。
紫禁城，從前凡人不得進，裡面的人不得出來，違者處死。現在，只要付40至60元，就可以入內參觀。
原本打算清早入宮，但起床時已是十時，快快在家附近的麥記吃早餐後，便趕上公車。入宮時已是十二時。
紫禁城真的很大，很容易迷路，行了半天都沒有行完。

Went to the Forbidden City last Saturday. It was not snowing that day, but the weather was still very cold. There were gusts of bleak wind and my fingers were nearly frozen. My friends, J&T asked when I was telling them about my trip, “Why did you go to the Palace under such cold weather?”
Forbidden City is attractive to me. I can skip the Great Wall, but I cannot not go to the Forbidden City.
Ordinary citizens could not enter the palace, and those inside were prohibited from leaving. The price for violating the rule is instant death. Now, you can visit the palace by paying between 40 and 60 yuan.
I planned to visit the palace early morning. But it was already 10am when I woke up. I rushed to the bus stop after eating at MacDonald’s. It was 12pm when I entered the palace.
The palace is really magnificent. I always got lost, and I still missed some spots even though I had already spent half a day there.

紫禁城內有不同的展覽，包括介紹末代皇帝溥儀的西化生活。 Various exhibitions are held in the Forbidden City. This one showcases the westernized lifestyle of the last emperor Puyi.

/
我最喜歡的展覽：鐘錶展，當中包括各國進貢清朝的鐘錶。棕色的是滴漏。The exhibition I like most, the watch and clock gallery. Many of the exhibits are gifts presented by overseas countries to the Qing Dynasty. The brown color one is an hourglass.

參觀當日，雪未完全溶化。The snow was not melted.

關於工作 About Work

2009-11-21T00:38:00.000+08:00

真的與上一份工很不同，但我不知如何表達出來。這些事情，稍後再說。

Really very different from my last job. I don’t know how to tell the difference. I will talk about it later.

終於找到房子

2009-11-07T00:47:00.000+08:00

10月9日，簽租約，房子600呎左右，月租3,200元。

本地同事說租貴，而且地方又不太近公司，老闆同樣說了這些話，並指公司其中一個外國人，租的房子比較近，價錢又比較便宜。

我一早已預了本地人的房租會較便宜。但，老闆呀，我當初問你有無好AGENT好地方介紹，你又唔話我知，仲話北京D租房唔會好貴，大約4,000左右，你依家又話我貴，想點呀？

住房

2009-11-07T00:46:00.000+08:00

初來幾天，住在J&T的房子，房子1,000呎，很舒服。但離市中心十分遠，所以J&T買了這房子7年，一天也沒有住過，寧可住在他們公司的宿舍。

我有考慮過租這個單位，但我天天都上夜班，工作至凌晨一時，北京又不像香港，沒有通宵行走的公共交通，下班唯有坐計程車回家，車資每晚80元。

一星期就400元，令人感到心痛。我也很急找房子租。一天未租到房子，感覺也不太安定。而且每天花80元坐計程車，在香港也不會發生，何況在北京。

而這幾天，剛巧是黃金週假期，地產經紀與業主都放假，找房子的事也就一直未解決。

J&T知道我每天花80元的苦況，容許我在找到房子前，寄居在他們的工作宿舍，計程車費用可以大幅減少至30元左右。

希望盡快找到房子安定下來。

(2009年10月5日)

新開始

2009-11-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

自從2007年去印度後，幾乎沒有再放大假。因為我計劃辭職，去一次長旅行，或者專注學阿拉伯文。

在計劃的時候，在北京工作的L來電說她公司招募人手，於是我就發電郵應徵。結果，我就來到北京，就當參加了working holiday。

工作的環境，我只可以用「很新」來形容。

(2009年10月5日)

Snow雪

2009-11-02T11:05:00.004+08:00

I was stunned when waking up yesterday morning. There was snow. This is the first snow in Beijing 2009 winter, and also the first snow in my life. Photos taken 12pm, November 01, 2009, Sunday.

昨早睡醒時，感到驚訝。我看見雪。這是北京2009年冬天第一場雪，也是我人生首次看見雪。照片在2009年11月1日星期日中午12時拍。

暫時的居所Temporary Residence

2009-10-23T17:13:00.003+08:00

來這裡一個月，租到房子了。今天安裝上網設施。
也弄了一個臨時的網誌，網址為http://blog.sina.com.cn/tedstorytemp。
Sina網誌的內容應該會與這Blogspot的網誌大致相同。
日後會盡量同步更新兩個網誌。但有時未必可以登入blogspot這個網誌，那我便會先把文章放上sina的網誌。

Have been here for a month. Finally rented a house and have internet set up.
Also set up a temporary blog. Blog address is http://blog.sina.com.cn/tedstorytemp.
The content of the sina blog will to a large extent be the same as blogspot blog.
Will try to update the two blogs simultaneously. If I cannot access to blogspot, I will first post the article to the sina blog.

開始

2009-09-25T02:55:00.001+08:00

近月事忙，幾乎沒有更新這BLOG。
忙什麼，在忙轉變，是工作上的轉變。要轉工了，新工與現在的有很大的不同，是新的開始。我要試不同的東西，所以轉工了，也當自己是參加了working holiday。
轉工，也可能意味這個BLOG要轉。
在這裡，未能很詳細的交代新工作的內容。我日後會交代。

Somebody Said A Prayer

2009-09-02T00:45:00.002+08:00

Another song from Teoh.

Somebody Said A Prayer - Billy Ray Cyrus

Just a single mom raisin up the kids
Little Tommy's seven now and her daughter Justine just turned ten

Pinchin every cent
laughin and lovin and content

You would never think
a couple years ago
she almost let her job, her kids, her mind, her life go up in smoke

right there on the edge
right before the fall

@ Somebody said a prayer
somebody had some faith
somebody finally hit their knees and asked for help for heavens sake
somebody finally found
someone who really cares
somebody said a prayer

He was seventeen
and his heart was broke
in the middle of the night a bottle full of pills and a goodbye note

Sittin on his bed
but then he bowed his head
now I see him every week
and every now and then

he talks about that night and the peace that came over him
talk about a sign

Can I get an amen
well there were tears on his face
he said look what happened lord

@ @

Can I get an amen Ohhhhhhhh
Can I get an amen Ohhhhhhhh
somebody somebody said a prayer somebody said a prayer somebody somebody said a prayer

somebody said a prayer - billy ray cyrus.mp3 -

我的工作是怎樣

2009-08-22T11:39:00.000+08:00

昨晚收到一電話，他哽咽的說：「剛剛收到一個很不開心的消息，正生書院校監林希聖的住所被廉證公署搜查。」
一直跟進校園驗毒與正生書院的報導，知道這些突破性的發展，理應很興奮，因為有故仔去做，上司亦知你有工作在跟。但收這消息時，我其實很不開心。
正生書院的發展出現戲劇性的變化，源於上星期壹週刊報導。該報導刊出後，關於正生的指控亦陸續出現。
我想，如果大家用一顯微鏡去看正生或其他機構，一定會發現很多問題，但這些問題跟近日對正生的指控是否相對，大家有沒有無限量放大這些問題呢？指控的背後又是否有實際證據呢？當指控正生學費昂貴時，部份報導比較其他戒毒院舍收費，但究竟有沒有衡量過這樣比較是否恰當，有沒有考慮不同機構的服務有什麼不同？指控時有沒有證據證明是當時人侵吞款項？
是否所有機構都用同一尺及標準去度，不符合這把尺的就是不公義？
廉證公署調查，從正面看，是借廉證公署來搞清事件，如果當時人真的做了不公義的事，當然要處理。如果當時人沒有錯，便還他們清白。
不過，假如廉證公署發覺根本無證據支持指控時，傳媒會如何報導呢？或許在稿尾交代幾句。但對當時人來說，在「正生被廉證公署查」的標題下，已造成深遠影響？
我做的工作，究竟是幫人進步或是把人家辛勤的工作化為烏有？
我的另一擔心是，在正生學生眼中，校長校監真的對他們很好，為他們盡心盡力，卻要面對現在的指控，他們的心裡一定不好受。

政府的手可以伸多長？

2009-08-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

驗毒不驗毒。爭拗沒完沒了。
我不知道這篇由龍應台兒子安德烈寫的文章對討論有沒有幫助。
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政府的手可以伸多長？

MM(龍應台),
　　我抽煙。我知道你很討厭我抽煙，我也認為這是個很糟糕的習慣。大概十七歲那年開始的，但是究竟怎麼開始的，我也弄不清楚 ─ ─ 因為朋友都抽所以抽？功課的壓力太大？太無聊？或者就是為了想試試看大人說不好的東西究竟怎樣？可能每個理由都多多少少有一點。反正結果就是，我上癮了。
　　我的煙友們其實都開始得比我早，大部分在十二、三歲的時候。還記得那個時候我是很討厭別人抽煙的，討厭那個氣味。最火大的是，大夥要出發到哪兒去時，總要等抽煙的那個傢伙在垃圾桶前把他的那支煙抽完。其實到今天，我還是不喜歡抽煙這回事的：我的喉嚨總覺得不舒服，很容易感冒，衣服老有去不掉的煙味，我容易累，而且，肺癌還等著我呢。
　　可是，有什麼好說的呢？不就是我的自由意志選擇了抽煙然後又缺乏意志力去戒掉它。如果有意志力，我早就戒了。但還是抽。原因是，每一支煙，是一個小小的休息和釋放。我喜歡離開我的書本，站到陽台上去，耳機裡聽著一首好聽的歌，看著海面上大船緩緩駛過 ─ ─ 點上一根煙。當然還有那「快樂似神仙」的「飯後一根煙」，還有電影鏡頭裡不能少的「性後一根煙」。一根煙，我想說，使美好的一刻完整了。
　　所以對我而言，明知抽煙不好，但那是一個個人的自由選擇。
　　
　　[b]政府鐵金剛
　　[/b]最近，我的自由選擇被剝奪了。二零零七年一月一日零時，香港開始在公共場所禁煙。政府的說法是，為了防止二手煙危害不抽煙者的健康，禁煙的地點包括公園、餐廳、學校、酒吧．．．．．．當然包括了我的大學。
　　我一點也不意外。這正是兩年前我的德國高中發生的事情。你知道，德國法律規定，十六歲以上的人抽煙飲酒是合法的，所以大部分的高中都劃定了吸煙區，學生在那裡吸煙。但是在二零零四年黑森州的文化部長推動校園禁煙，結果如何呢？我們必須多走五百米到校園外圍的人行道上去吸煙。我們同學裡沒一個人戒了煙，但是學校外圍那條人行道上從此滿地是煙蒂。
　　沒多久，全德國都要在公共場所禁煙了。所以，在禁煙的作為上，香港和德國是一樣的，但是我注意到一個根本的差別，那就是，在德國，公共場所禁煙令下來之前，社會有很廣泛、歷時很長的辯論。香港卻沒有，政府基本上可以說做就做，而且，香港政府好像有一種特異功能，只要是它想作的事情，都可以把它塑造成「萬眾一心」的樣子，香港政府簡直是個所向無敵的鐵金剛。
　　如果你問我，我是否對禁煙政策不滿？當然，因為現在我必須繞很多路去抽一根煙。可是如果你問我，我認為禁煙政策對不對？我會說，當然對，沒話說。我喜歡煙霧繚繞的小酒館或酒吧，因為那是一種迷人的氣氛。但是我完全贊成在餐廳裡禁煙，因為煙味會破壞了食物的香氣，我心甘情願走到餐廳外面去抽煙。所以說來說去，公共場所禁煙對我不是問題。不過我想談的其實不是禁煙的政策或者香港強大的政府，因為，沒有普選，反正你拿政府沒辦法。
　　
　　[b]媒體棄守
　　[/b]我想跟 MM 表達的是，我對香港的媒體覺得很奇怪。香港沒有民主，但是有自由，媒體的獨立跟批判精神，還是被容許的吧？公共場所應不應該禁煙，在德國媒體上起碼辯論了三、四年，學者、專家、評論家翻來覆去全民大辯論。香港媒體上也有一些討論，但是很少，很零星 ─ ─ 當然，我主要說的是兩家英文報紙；而且，你知道嗎？香港的討論說來說去都停留在禁煙的「執行」層面：說抽煙族會跑到人行道上去抽，二手煙的問題能不能解決，說酒吧餐廳可以怎樣領到「准煙牌照」，說空氣污染會不會變好。可是我很少看見有什麼認真的討論是衝著「公民權」來談的。問題的核心反而好像沒人在乎：政府應不應該有這樣的權力去規範公共空間的使用？政府有沒有權利這樣高姿態地去「指導」人民的生活方式？不吸煙的「大多數」有沒有權利這樣去壓制吸煙的「少數」？
　　嚼檳榔的人，是否政府也該管呢？以此類推，不刷牙的人，用了馬桶不抽水的人，老是放屁的人．．．．．．是不是政府都要管呢？
　　我知道討厭煙的人很多，我也知道吸煙有害健康，我更知道禁煙可以帶來比較好的空氣環境。但這不是重點，重點是，當一個如此侵犯個人空間，如此衝著弱小族群（吸煙族絕對是「弱小族群」）而來的法要通過時，你會以為，這個社會裡的自由派會大聲抗議，強烈反對，要求辯論。奇怪的是，一點都沒有。 MM 你告訴我，難道香港沒有「 liberal 」的存在嗎？我讀到的評論，簡直像中學生的作文：先幾句正面的，然後講幾句負面的，然後一個軟綿綿的、四平八穩的總結。媒體的尖銳批判性，在那裡啊？
　　
　　[b]集體變笨
　　[/b]這麼寫，會讓很多香港人跳起來。我其實一點也不想說德國多麼好 ─ ─ 他們搞爛的事情可多了。可是就媒體而言，每個報紙都有它的批判立場，在公共場所禁煙這個議題上，保守的法蘭克福匯報和激進的柏林每日新聞就會有截然不同的鮮明立場。我訂過香港的英文南華早報，看了幾個禮拜以後就退報了。我要的是一份報紙，對於香港的事情有深入的分析和個性鮮明而獨立的評論，可是我發現報紙的內容和電視新聞基本上差別不大，多半也只是浮面報導而已。那我何不脆看看電視新聞就算了。
　　你大概要說，是因為長期的殖民，缺民主的環境和素養，所以會這樣。我想問的是，那改變要從那裡開始呢？報攤上花花綠綠的雜誌報紙，大多是影星藝人的私生活探密，不然就是飲食、賭馬跟名流時尚。 MM ，如果媒體不維持一種高度的批判精神，一個社會是可以集體變「笨」的是不是？香港的媒體在做什麼呢？我看見很多香港人很辛苦地在爭取普選，可是媒體還是把最大的力氣和錢花在影星八卦上。那些力氣和錢，為什麼不拿來為香港的民主做點努力呢？提供公開論壇，激發公眾辯論，挑戰政府決策，培養年輕人獨立批判精神．．．．．．老天，不要再討論禁煙區要多大、准煙牌照要多少錢，比這重要的事，太多了吧。真煩。
　　
　　你的安德烈

清泉

2009-08-07T11:26:00.002+08:00

李城壁中學中七女生鄭詠欣，就內地維權律師許志永寫了這一封公開信，明報日前刊出。
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請用法理來說服我
──為許志永老師給溫家寶總理的公開信
前言

今年4月，與中六級通識教育科的同學到北京考察交流，我們走訪了「公盟」，許志永博士與我們一行30名同學談了個多兩個小時。
學生知道了維權律師們正為「結石寶寶」、「黑磚诖」的受害者、川震豆腐渣工程遇難者家人、不少上訪者等等，進行法律訴訟；也知道公盟也教育社區市民法律知識從而參與社區內的管理工作。
公盟裏除了律師學者，更多的是比學生們大不了多少的大學生和年輕人。他們所做的，其實不過是個志願機構或是壓力團體的角色，可悲的是，在內地這卻成為了走鋼線、打擦邊球的活動。然而傾談間，許博士仍有信心地告訴同學，維權活動和民間社會未來的活動空間是樂觀的。想不到數月後，繼公盟被「抄家」之後許博士更身陷囹圄，於是，同學們的憤慨是必然的了。
──張銳輝老師

溫總理：
斗膽用這個標題，因為我現在的心境，與龍應台教授執筆寫《請用文明來說服我──給胡錦濤先生的公開信》時有類似的感受；龍教授的文章，溫總理想必已經讀過了。我雖然只是一個高中學生，對國事的了解、對文字的掌控，當然不比龍教授，但仍希望能透過自己手上微弱的筆，表達對政府處理「公盟」及許志永先生的手法的不滿。

溫總理，提起你的名字時，人們都會說你是平民總理，辦事以民為本，站在人民利益那方。有些小朋友還會被你的親民作風所吸引，叫你一聲溫爺爺，視你為模仿的對象。
但是當我一想起你任內被捕、被禁、被整頓的媒體和異見人士，如劉曉波先生、程翔先生、《冰點》雜誌、《南方都市報》等等時，我卻又不得不質疑你作為純真善良小朋友學習對象的資格！難道我們國家的教育，是要教小朋友與其他人意見不合時就要對付對方，而非講求中國人千百年來堅持的仁義觀？

近日被政府盯中的是許志永先生和他所領導的「公盟」。公盟是由一群關注中國發展的律師及學者所組成的民間組織，他們透過學術研究就國家的法制改革提出一些意見和建議，推動國家實現民主法治。他們另一項為國人所熟知的工作，是為一些弱勢群眾如上訪者、被徵地者、毒奶粉案的受害者等等提供法律援助，幫助他們透過現有的司法制度去取得公義。單從近日稅局搜查後曾獲得幫助的民眾紛紛勇敢地到公盟辦事處聲援一事，任誰也看到「公盟」是站在人民那邊的！為何溫總理你所領導的政府仍要做出這件不合民情的事呢？

據我所知，「公盟」的工作是非牟利的，他們曾經想登記為民辦非企業單位，但遭到當局拒絕，被迫申請為有限公司。在國際社會，這種團體並不需交稅，而其捐獻者更能獲得免稅優惠。但由於公盟的成員是守法的律師，明知制度的不合理仍舊依規定納稅。在被稅局指控漏報稅項時，亦坦誠地承認錯誤。為何溫總理你所領導的政府仍要向他們徵收最高的罰款，並過分地在公盟辦事處以「搜證」為名而檢走所有維權資料呢？更令人感到無法理解的是，許志永先生突然在召開第二輪聽證會之前，遭公安與便衣從家中帶走，並扣留在看守所中，不能與家人及律師聯絡，同時更要公盟關閉其網頁，這實在是對公民基本權利的無理剝奪。

溫總理，你經常說要「依法執政」、「依法治國」，我想請問你一下，執法機關是根據哪一條法例去帶走許先生的？我對中國法律的認識十分膚淺，但仍知道憲法是國家的根本大法，具有最高的法律效力。在我國憲法的第35條列明，中華人民共和國公民有言論、結社的自由，第37條更清楚指出中華人民共和國公民的人身自由不受侵犯，禁止非法拘禁和以其他方法非法剝奪或者限制公民的人身自由。就我對上述條文的理解，我認為許先生現在應該可以自由地留在家或身處辦公室辦事的。

今年4月，我和其他同學到北京考察交流時，有幸在未被搜查的公盟辦事處與許先生談論中國政治。看見他願意無私地為中國在法治民主領域上努力，並對於中國的未來充滿了希望，令我深受感動。猶記得考察時，我們曾到過永定門內國務院信訪辦的門前，親眼目睹不少惡形惡相的截訪者和情可憐的上訪者。因此，在傾談中有同學便問了許先生一句「為何中央政府會容忍那些截訪者存在呢？」你知道許先生怎樣答嗎？他說上訪人數遠遠超過信訪部門所能承受，所以中央政府亦唯有容許截訪者存在，以免信訪部門的工作量極嚴重超標。在訪問中他多次提醒我們中國政府已很努力，要對政府有多點耐性。

許志永先生就是這樣的一個人！他充滿理想但不狂妄，他看到很遠的目標仍堅持穩重地一步一步走下去，他不怕只有一點一點微弱的力量在慢慢地付出，堅信中國終有一天能實現法治民主與自由。

溫總理，我真的十分不解為何你們的心如此的狠。為何要用這方法去對付這樣一個體諒政府、理性論政的學者呢？他所做的事只是在現有的遊戲規則下安分守己地為弱者去爭取憲法賦予的權利。他做的事情無一不是愛國為民！為何中央連這樣的一個人物也不能放過呢？為何不容許他和公盟透過公開公正的司法程序去處理這事呢？

溫總理，看覑你為四川地震災後工作努力、關心礦工工作環境之時，我總想叫你一聲「溫爺爺」的。但當看覑這麼多不合法不合理的事情在中國發生，我實在叫不出呀！但願有一天這樣的事情能夠圓滿解決並不再發生，我相信那一天海內外同胞才會由衷地振臂一呼「中國萬歲」的！

祝
身體健康
香港中七學生
鄭詠欣敬上
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電視新聞昨天訪問了鄭詠欣及她的老師與同學。看報導，我想起去年5月時及早前，一大堆青年人，包括大學生，發表一大堆令人錯愕的言論。在他們的眼中，國家經濟發展強大，沒有問題。即使有問題，那些問題都在其他地方發生，因此，不是問題。
有人問，中國有千千萬萬個許志永，但究竟有多少個鄭詠欣？我想，有一個鄭詠欣總好過一個都沒有。
我想像有人會問，鄭詠欣妳這個小女生，憑什麼挑戰一個國家的總理？促使一個國家作決定時的種種複雜原因妳究竟明白多少？為什麼妳要好管閒事？答案的重點，關係到兩個字 – 良心。而且，這些事一點也不閒，用內地的術語，這是反映一個國家有沒有足夠的軟實力。
鄭同學，妳不用跟那些十優會考生，要立志做什麼記者政客醫生。我祝願妳將來升大學及投身社會工作後，仍然跟隨自己的良心，即使妳要回內地工作。
很多學校搞的所謂國情教育交流團，都只叫學生認識國家的強盛發展，經濟飛躍，神七太空人是如何的振奮人心等。李城壁中學卻帶學生認識國家的另一面，值得讚賞。

Results a morale booster at Zheng Sheng

2009-08-06T11:32:00.003+08:00

Went to Cheung Chau early morning yesterday for the result release of the Hong Kong Certificate of Education Examination. Eleven students of Zheng Sheng College, the city’s only drug rehabilitation school, took part in the exam this year. Again, there are some touching stories.

Let me talk about the location of the college. The main campus is located in Chi Ma Wan. Reaching there is quite a complicated process. First, you need to go to Cheung Chau by boat. Then, you need to get on to a connecting sampan to reach the college.

There was heavy rain yesterday. The connecting sampan could not reach the college because of strong tidal wave. Some of the students could not get their result slips in the morning.

This again proves that the college needs relocation very urgently. Would the Heung Yee Kuk and Mui Wo Rural Committee stop being ridiculous and drag on the relocation problem? Please, let the college relocate immediately.

Here is the story

Results a morale booster at Zheng Sheng

HONG KONG: HKCEE results proved the makings of an exciting day for students trying to put their lives back together at the city’s only drug rehabilitation school.
Students at Christian Zheng Sheng College didn’t qualify for Secondary Six admission, but to the 11 students from the school who sat the exam, the results were something to treasure.

The youngsters felt they had made a remarkable achievement, and at the same time, proved to their families that they are reforming.

The college’s highest achiever was 20-year-old Auyeung Pui-lam, who came to the college four years ago after a conviction for theft. He scored eight points on the exam, passing all seven subjects for which he sat.

“I got all passes. I have not expected that. I have passed the one worrying me most, English,” Auyeung yelled over the phone to his mother.

Auyeung had worried that he would not get his results slip yesterday because of the heavy weather. He said he prayed Tuesday night, and woke up at 5:40 am yesterday. When he got the results, tears came to his eyes.

“My effort is not wasted,” he said.

Auyeung want to offer the slip as a gift to his deceased grandmother, who reminded him always to study hard. The one-time problem youngster once considered giving up. The example of Zheng Sheng graduate Wilson Wong, who will enter Lingnan University to study accounting in September, proved an inspiration. “I would not be who I am today without the help of Zheng Sheng,” he said.

Auyeung decided to pursue career development for a few years before going back to his studies.

A tearful Auyeung Pui-lam and the college principal Alman Chan Siu-cheuk

Thirty-year-old student Tsang Wai-ngor looked disappointed after learning about her result. She scored zero points in the exam, well below her expectations. She had hoped she could pass the Chinese Language exam.

Tsang has been through difficult times in her life. She abused drugs for a long time before pledging to quit the habit when she came to rehab and accepted Christianity. A romantic entanglement pushed her right back into drugs.

Adding to her feelings of despair, her mother and younger brother were killed in 2003. One year later, determined to reform, she entered Zheng Sheng.

Tsang found studying extremely difficult. Her ability to concentrate was impaired by her past history of drug abuse. She is still on meditations to cure systemic lupus erythematosus and the effects of drug abuse.

“I keep thinking about my mother whenever I face difficulties,” she said. “I think she would be happy about what I become now.”

Books 書

2009-07-29T22:16:00.001+08:00

The annual book fair has just concluded on Tuesday. I have tons of unread books. I purchased these books because I thought I would love reading them, but put them to the bookshelf after flipping not more than 20 pages.
Don’t wanna to buy books that I will not read. I am refrained from buying books after merely a glance of the covers.
I have bought seven books, of which five are about my favourite subjects. These books are The Reader (I like the movie very much), 村上春樹(Murakami Haruki)的「關於跑步，我說的其實是……」,莊曉陽(Chong Hiu-yeung)的「42公里的風光」(Chong is a reporter. I buy this book because the stories in his blog are good and I am interested in the scenery and people of other countries),一本名為「愛國無罪」的書及李鵬飛回憶錄(Two books only cost HK$5)
And I have bought a book named The Reluctant Fundamentalist. I have read a shortened Chinese translation of the story online already.

My friend Matt bought me a bag of coffee powder from Vietnam and the filter. I am making Vietnam coffee for dinner at office. The quality is not as good as what I have tasted in restaurants.
I need a book about making coffee.

一年一度的書展在星期二完結。
我在家中已囤積了一大堆未看的書。買這些書時，很多時都因為封面或書名吸引，沒有細看內容，結果在家中看不這20頁就不再看。
今年限制自己買一些封條吸引但不知內容是什麼的書。
買了7本。當中5本的題目真的是自己有興趣的。這些書包括「讀愛」﹝我喜歡那電影﹞、村上春樹的「關於跑步，我說的其實是……」﹝簡體字版，25元﹞、莊曉陽的「42公里的風光」﹝莊是前行家，不過，買這書是因為他的blog好看，以及我對各國人景物有興趣﹞、一本名為「愛國無罪」的書及李鵬飛回憶錄﹝兩本書才5元﹞。
還有一本名為「拉合爾茶館的陌生人」的書。買前已在網上讀過中文翻譯濃縮版。

朋友Matt在越南買了咖啡粉及過濾器。在辦公室吃晚飯時就弄一杯咖啡，自家製的品質不比餐廳的好。
我要一本咖啡的書。

深圳唱卡拉OK

2009-07-18T23:02:00.001+08:00

折磨了我38個工作天的龔如心爭產案證人作供終於完畢，雙方律師在9月結案陳詞，之後法官擇日宣判。
當天下班後，立即會一班同樣被小甜甜折騰的行家唱K。
翌日週末，與兩位友人W及U到深圳拜會舊上司M，又名Spit。
飯茶，按摩(嘉洋城/ 不錯)再晚飯(毛家菜，6個人才295元，好食及便宜)及唱K。
沒有想過會去深圳唱K。
深圳唱K也很便宜，六個人唱了兩小時才120元。
是日消費(除了按摩外)，全由M及他的朋友負責，有點不好意思。
愉快的一天。
星期一，又是煩人的工作。

More Songs by Gurrumul Yunupingu

2009-07-06T17:06:00.003+08:00

WIRRPANU

11 - Gurrumul Yunupingu - Wirrpanu.mp3 -

Yi, yi, yi, yi
The thunder has formed, there at Bawuduwudu Naypinya
Dhanurryuna threw it, the python Garrawananu Liliplyana
Yi, yi, yi, yi

Dad to dad, when will we return to Dhamdham (Goulburn)
Because the time for thunder is here
Come let’s return to Mawi

The thunder has formed, there at Bawuduwudu Naypinya
The thunder sent his mind back, the python Garrawananu Lilipiyana

MARWURRUMBURR

06 - Gurrumul Yunupingu - Marwurrumburr.mp3 -

now it has cooled, the country
his night has come for ..
ya, ya, ya, the cat

also he will, climb into funeral shelter
the cat will travel, the cat will travel
the cat will travel, the cat will travel

the cat will travel, the cat will travel
the cat will travel, the cat will travel

dit dirri rriri, dit dirri rriri dit dirri rriri, dit dirri rriri

the scent of the smelt by Wtitj
the scent of the smelt by Wtitj

Bininyala ya, ya the cat

the cat will travel, the cat will travel
the cat will travel, the cat will travel

Everyone makes mistake

2009-06-27T12:11:00.007+08:00

The controversy over Christian Zheng Sheng College, the city only private boarding school for young drug abusers, goes on and on over the past weeks. It is late for me to write on that topic, again. I have been locked inside the court room for almost the whole week and I just don’t have the time to write.
The college in Chi Ma Wan is in an urgent need to relocate because its campus is overcrowded (120 students at the capacity of 60) and shabby. Residents of Mui Wo, the site where the college applied to use, strongly opposed the college application. They say they support rehabilitation services, but they also need to use the site for education of their own children and they fear that the “drug addicts” will impose negative influence on the community. They somehow show the “Not In My Backyard” mentality.
I paid a visit to the college last Saturday for a story. The college is running down. No hot water is available for bathing and it is overcrowded.
I did not need to go through security checks to enter the college. No one accompanied me walking around – I could walk freely inside the campus WITHOUT fearing that the students might do something harmful to me.

Students are preparing food.

Here is the story.
----------------------------
Getting back to the straight and narrow
There are no security checks for visitors at Christian Zheng Sheng College in Chi Ma Wan. Visitors can go unescorted, wherever they choose on the campus, where young drug abusers are undergoing rehabilitation. Visitors may even take photos of students.
It’s the city’s only private boarding school for young drug abusers.
Though many of the students have committed crimes that go beyond the taking of drugs, they are treated with respect and expected to take responsibility for themselves.

He is the first student greeting me.

Principal Alman Chan Siu-cheuk stresses that students are not incarcerated and should not be considered inmates, though most have been referred by probation officers for stays of about 30 months.
“We are not afraid that the students will be in dispute with visitors. We are confident about our students,” he said. “They are empowered if we stress that they are just students who made mistakes, but not inmates who committed crimes. The students’ identity motivates them to work hard for exams and integrate with community.”
Lau Yin-chun, a 17-year-old who is at the college for three months after committing theft, wants to be thought of as any other normal person.
“I was a set of numbers in the rehabilitation center where I stayed before coming here. Now, people call me by my name,” said Yin-chun, who did not hesitate to open up when he was approached by a reporter.
The school does not use medications in its rehabilitation therapy. Responsibility and self-discipline are the cornerstones to the treatment. The 120 students of the college get up every morning at 6:30. They have morning assembly and Bible reading. By lunch time they have put in three hours of academic study. After lunch they work another three hours and have a couple of hours of free time before dinner. Bed time is 10 pm.Students and teachers share dormitories and the bathrooms which have no hot water.

The shelves will collapse during heavy rains and typhoons.

Students do their own cooking and laundry. Part of their responsibilities require that they help clean up the grounds and assist in renovations. The place is short on regular facilities.
One project took several years as students of succeeding classes removed rocks from an outdoor basketball court. It proved to be good endurance training. They work side by side with teachers, feeling more like equals than subordinates or inferiors. There are no special privileges for teachers.
“The senior students who are the leaders are often the last ones to receive gifts. They are serving others and taking more responsibility,” Chan said.
There’s also some vocational in addition to academic studies. There’s pizza making, photography, video production, design and logistics. Some teaching facilities are pretty sub-standard. A lot of chairs are broken. On the other hand by not replacing broken chairs the school has been able to buy state-of-the-art equipment rarely seen in mainstream schools. The 20 MacBook Pro computers, the HK$48,000 camera and the HK$18,000 lens are some examples.
“I cut staff pay for that. Teachers here are only paid 60 percent of salary offered by other schools,” said Chan whose pay is also 40 percent less. The Christian Zheng Sheng Association has businesses in Cheung Chau, including a pizza shop and tea house. It gets orders for producing videos, T-shirts, and printing names on mobile phone. Even the Macao government asked the association to produce a video about taking drugs.

Students are heading to Cheung Chau for video production.

The businesses have an annual turnover of about HK$1 million.
“We are a social enterprise,” Chan said, adding that students emerging from the school will become more competitive in the job market because of the training they have received.
There are other advantages. Some students were taken on an exchange visit to the United States. Chan said more than 70 percent of the school’s graduates do not return to drugs. “They dare to face the camera. They are achievers. They do not consider themselves criminals,” Chan said.
------------------------

I am impressed by the students and the staff of the college. I hope the college will continue being blessed no matter whether they will move to Mui Wo. It is expected that the students and staff are under pressure to continue performing well. Given that huge support for the college is pouring, a single and minor mistake can of the college will disappoint many and jeopardize the college image.
Everyone makes mistakes, and they should be welcomed if they have corrected.

Estate battle

2009-06-27T11:04:00.001+08:00

The most important witness of the Nina Wang estate battle started giving evidence this week. This means my “tragedy” has started. I have to arrive at the High Court at 7am everyday – three hours before the hearing starts – in order to get a seat in the small and heavily packed court room. The hearing ends at 4:30pm, and I have to write the stories until 10:30pm.
In addition to the long working hours, the content of the hearings is really something that I can't bear.
Chan, a married man, already started an affair with Wang and living in Wang’s quarters when his wife was bearing his first son.
Chan named his son “Wealthee” because his mother moved to a luxury housing unit “Wealthy Heights” and he believed “Wealthee” meant a man of blessing.
Then, we hear that Wang would burn real bank notes for fun, and Wang would call Chan as “Hubby Pig” and “Hubby Kin”. Chan had his “first occasion” with Wang in 1992, and they recreated the “first occasion” every night.
The hearing goes on and one with Chan saying his identity as a fung shui master is just a smokescreen covering his secret intimate relationship with Wang and denying that he is a eunuch.
Part of the transcript of a video taken by Chan to prove his relationship with Wang was read out in the court. Chan said the word “beautiful” for more than 40 times. One of the sentences is “真係好靚嘅。好靚，好靚，好靚，好靚，好靚，真係好靚，啊，好靚。你可以--係呀，真係好靚。所以呢套衫真係好靚嘅，影得你。Oh, really very beautiful. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Oh, Very beautiful. You can….really very beautiful. You look really very beautiful in that outfit.”
I shivered when I was hearing the terms like “Hubby Pig” and writing.

Two songs by an Australian aboriginal singer

2009-06-17T11:42:00.002+08:00

Teoh recently sent me two songs by Australian aboriginal musician Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu. Excellent piece. Calm me down when I am tensed.

1) Wiyathul

Wiarthul - Gurrumul Yunupingu

English Translation.

Two scrub fowl crying out, looking for Guwalilna
the calls like women crying, looking for Murrurrnawu
the cries returning his mind to the jungles at Mutimutina

oh place Guwalilna, Warradika, Yumayna, m…m

Oh the old man cries, from this drink
oh dad Kampa-Djundjuna, home Mayan-naraka bright in his mind
oh my two mums, beloved mums, hold Ruypu Milinditj
oh my two mums, beloved mums, cry for the sacred spring Burarrapu
oh the place Guwalilna, Warradika, Yumayna, m...m

*Djilawurr, the orange footed scrub fowl are family and relatives to the Gumatj Nation

2) Gurrumul History (I was born blind)

Gurrumul - Gurrumul Yunupingu

English Translation

I was born blind, and I don’t know why
God knows why, because he loves me so
as I grew up, my spirit knew
then I learnt to read the world of destruction
united we stand, divided we fall
together we’ll stand, in solidarity

Narranydja dhuwala Batuman (I am ancestor)
Narranydja dhuwala Diarrami (I am ancestor)
Narranydja dhuwala Djenarra
Narranydja dhuwala Gurrumulna (I am ancestor)
m…m

I heard my mama, and my papa
crying their hearts in confusion
how can I walk? Straight and tall
in society please hold my hand
trying to bridge and build Yolnu culture
I’ve been to New York
I’ve been to LA
I’ve been to London
narranydja Gurrumul

United we stand, divided we fall
together we’ll stand in solidarity

Narranydja dhuwala Barrupa
narranydja dhuwala Dhukulul
narranydja dhuwala Maralitja
narranydja dhuwala Nunbununbu

Y…e, wo wanawu Garrapala (of the country Garapala)
Dhamutjpirr, Dhamunura

20 Years

2009-06-05T02:49:00.006+08:00

Remarks: This article, a long piece, is not well written. It is not insightful and there is no new view offered. But I have to stress that I write it sincerely (not suggesting that I am not serious to the other pieces I have written) and wholeheartedly.

I am very glad that there is no significant development in Nina Wang estate battle today. I can manage to finish work earlier and arrive at Victoria Park at around 9pm.
I cannot manage to get inside the Victoria Park. I can only stand in the outer area.
I can neither see what's happening inside the park nor hear what the people on stage are talking about. But I am excited, really excited, when I heard Szeto Wah announcing that there are 150,000 people attending the candle light vigil for June 4. I should be glad that I can only manage to get into the outer area because it is an indication that there are really many people showing up. It is a record-breaking turnout.
I am just one of the small persons in the large crowd, but the power of this large crowd of small persons can make history and show the world that we have not forgotten even though the government wants us to forget.
I am glad that I was among one of them, paying respect to June 4 victims. In Hong Kong.

I keep recalling what has happened to me over the past 20 years these days. I was just a primary school student spending most of my time doing homework and playing video games. Similar to my classmates, I just did not care what was reported in the newspapers and TV.
What happened exactly this month two decades ago changed the way I and my classmates behave. We read newspapers and listened to radio news in schools even though the content was complicated and incomprehensible to us. In class, the teachers put aside the textbooks and told students about what was happening in Beijing. Some even broke down to tears before the students.
We understood that there were a large group of students living far away from us demanding better changes.
Back home, I watched TV news with my family. My brother, who is four years older than me, took to the street. The whole family watched and recorded the marathon concert 民主歌聲獻中華 (Concert for Democracy in China).
We always heard of the serious corruption in China. I got an impression that those living on the mainland were poor and backward, which is the reason for my father coming to Hong Kong. Seeing the students on hunger strike, we knew that there were people with true compassions fighting to make the nation a better living place. Hope. We really hoped that the nation would get rid of problems and better respect its people. The hope was growing stronger and stronger. Until it was crushed on June 4.

Throughout these 20 years, there are many changes in the society. My parents have not talked about June 4. My brother, who took to the street two decades ago, even believes that the crackdown is helpful to China’s present development.
Our schools do not about June 4. The history textbooks only briefly mention about it. Teachers are reluctant to talk about it. Students are unaware of it.
I am more aware that the students’ leaders have made mistakes and I was somehow affected by the negative comments against those who escaped to overseas countries. I was puzzled why some people always took to the street to express what they want and why some people gathered in Victoria Park year after year demanding a vindication of June 4. Yes, it is a tragedy and it is sad that the students died. But what’s the point of the vindication? How can the vindication “benefit” me? Shouldn’t we let bygones be bygones and move “forward”?
When I think deeper into it, I understand more. I am not saying that I got a very in-depth understanding of the nation and Hong Kong. I am still not familiar with China’s political and economic system.
China’s economic development is amazing. The living standard of many people has improved. China’s rapid growth is increasingly important to the future of Hong Kong. The nation has also made some tremendous developments. The space missions and the Beijing Olympics are among them.
However, we should not forget that the nation has impressed many with its problems. Put it sarcastically, we have learned melamine from the contaminated milk and other chemicals from other products scandals. We have learned how the poor people have their interest ignored because of corruption. We have learned that Chinese people are generous and sympathetic to the people in need from last year Sichuan’s earthquake, but we have also learned that how inhumane and uncivilized the government is as parents of children died from sub-standard schools are banned from expressing their grievances and no officials are held accountable for the construction of those schools.
And on this special day, we have learned from news that a sister whose brother was killed 20 years ago is banned from paying tribute. And we have the following item that makes me feel ashamed and question whether we really have a civilized history of 5,000 years.

Yes, we have to move forward. But how can we actually move forward if we do not dare to face and settle our past. Yes, China’s economic development is rapid. But that does not mean that we have to support and accept what we believe is immoral and wrong. Yes, the students’ leaders 20 years ago had erred. But this is not a justification for sending troops and tanks against the people. Yes, we have long history and our ancestors have taught us many good lessons that can convince other nations to respect us. But we have to stop all the ridiculous incidents if we want to make people respect not only our economic power. Yes, it is painful recalling the tragedy of June 4. But how can we teach history to our children and ask other people to respect history if we are not courageous enough to face our ugly past. Yes, we have seen corrupt and bad officials being arrested and removed from office. But there will be corrupted officials coming to power if we do not improve our system. Yes, there is no perfect system in the world and all countries have their own problem. But striving for excellence should always be our dream and ideal. Yes, we are benefited from the nation’s development. But we deserve to be respected and have our demands and views listened.

I have watched a public affairs program in TVB on how youngsters think about June 4. A secondary school principal said his school does not touch on the sensitive subject because there is no sufficient data on many things, such as the death toll of June 4, and a responsible educator should not only base on media reports when teaching.

This is such a RIDICULOUS comment. The reason behind the lack of sufficient data is because we do not dare to face our past. Isn't it our job to get the whole picture and collect information from our own sources, especially when officials are reluctant to do that? I am afraid that most historical events, not only June 4, will be forgotten if the officials are not willing to give us the data.

I am glad that I am born in the 1970's. I am glad that I was a primary school student in 1989. Not mature enough to understand what the students in Beijing were doing at that time, but I was able to watch news from media organisations which did not exercise self-censorship as they do today and I was able to know how my primary school teachers felt about the incident.

Last year, we had the successful Olympic Games. We had a massive torch relay in Hong Kong. We had a HKU student staging protest during the torch relay in HK and also demonstrations in overseas countries. A public affairs program by RTHK interviewed some youngsters who are proud of the torch relay. In the eyes of these youngsters, there are only positive developments in the nation.

I do not totally agree with the protesters. But how these youngsters talk worries me. I am glad that I am born in the 1970's and I have a different perspectives from these youngsters.

20 years now. 20 years. Not a short period of time. But I am willing to wait, and we have to wait. We must continue doing that year after year. We are doing that because June 4 MUST NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

I really like this song named 自由花 (The flower of freedom). English translation of the lyrics will come later.

忘不了的，年月也不會蠶蝕
心中深處始終也記憶那年那夕
曾經痛惜，年月裡轉化為力
一點真理，一個理想永遠地尋覓

We cannot forget, nor will time wear away our memory;
Deep in our heart we always recall that day in that year.
We felt the pain, but time has turned it into strength.
One bit of truth and one ideal are what we will forever seek.

＊悠悠長長繼續前航不懂去驚怕
荊荊棘棘通通斬去不必多看它
浮浮沉沉昨日人群雖不說一話
不想清楚分析太多真心抑意假

We continue on a long long journey but we know no fear.
We will cut away all hindering thorns, not minding them one bit.
People of yesterday went through thick and thin in silence;
They didn’t want to hear more reasoning, be it true or unreal.

＃但有一個夢，不會死，記著吧
無論雨怎麼打，自由仍是會開花
但有一個夢，不會死，記著吧
來自你我的心，記著吧

But there is a dream that will not die - remember.
No matter how hard it rains, freedom will still bloom,
But there is a dream that will not die – remember.
It comes from your heart and mine – remember.

忘不了的，留下了不死意識
深深相信始終會變真某年某夕
如此訊息，仍賴你跟我全力
加一把勁，將這理想繼續在尋覓

We cannot forget, as has prevailed our undying belief.
We deeply trust some day it will finally turn real.
This message, depends on you and me,
Doing our best, to keep searching for that ideal.

Thought Provoking

2009-05-27T01:41:00.002+08:00

New name and layout

2009-05-25T01:02:00.001+08:00

I don’t actually like two former names, An ordinary diary and I want to record, of this blog. Have come up with a new name and changed the layout.
I like both black and white colors, and I finally decided to use Black. I cannot explain the reason.

Nina Wang

2009-05-25T01:01:00.000+08:00

I spent the entire week in the High Court covering the probate trial which will decide who – Chinachem Charitable Foundation or fung shui master Tony Chan – can inherit the estimated HK$100 billion estate of late Asia’s richest woman Nina Wang.
When Nina died two years ago, most people thought her estate would be used for charitable purposes based on a will dated 2002. However, to the surprise of Wang’s siblings, Chan – an unknown person before the saga – suddenly came out, claiming himself the sole beneficiary of Wang’s fortune based on a will dated 2006.
Chan claimed himself the secret lover of Wang, whose husband Teddy was declared legally dead after being kidnapped in 1990. The court heard that Wang was attracted to Chan because the fung shui master claimed that he could locate Wang’s husband, but Chan denied that his fung shui knowledge is very limited.
Fung shui, Chan claimed, is only a smokescreen covering his romantic and intimate relationship with Wang. Chan presented video, audio recordings, Wang trademark pigtail and love letters to the court to prove the relationship. Awaking many reporters who were bored to fall asleep in the court room, Chan’s counsel said one of the videos could prove that Wang wanted to have a baby with Chan.
I somehow cannot understand how these rich people think.
Wang, a person known for her frugality who treated police or staff helping her with only a simple meal that even the poorest people can afford, spent millions of dollars in fung shui. She asked for the transcript of court document to be prayed on, and the color of the bundles be matched with fung shui advice. She gave Chan HK$700 million over a few years in cash transported by car. HK$700 million in cash in addition to HK$2 billion and fees to other fung shui masters!! I don’t think I can make it in my life.
A former legislator, who introduced Chan to Wang, said he gave Chan some HK$750,000 a year for fung shui advice and burned some HK$500,000 real bank notes to get rid of legal problems. The result – he was still sent to jail. If I had HK$500,000, I would quit my job for studying or travelling or taking rest, or use it for investment. I would definitely not burn them. Burning real money is unimaginable and insane.
I cannot live without money. Maybe if I am as rich as these people, I will feel more insecure with more money I have.

王丹：曾蔭權64發言不當不適任香港特首

2009-05-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

〔中央社〕中國大陸民主運動人士王丹今天表示，香港特別行政區行政長官曾蔭權對1989年6月4日天安門事件發言不當，不適任香港特首。

曾蔭權日前說，他明白港人對「64事件」的感受及看法，但事件發生至今已多年，期間國家在各方面的發展成就傲人，香港也經濟繁榮、社會穩定，他相信，港人對國家發展及「64」事件，經過一段時間後，會有客觀的評價。

王丹下午出席台灣新社會智庫於台北市市長官邸藝文沙龍舉辦的「兩岸民主改革20年」座談會後，接受媒體訪問時表示，客觀評價應不只是看經濟發展，還要看國家政治與人權狀況，這才是成熟的人民。

他說，曾蔭權作為香港特首，不應這麼污辱特區人民智慧，也從未見過地區首長這麼看輕人民智力，曾蔭權不配當特首。

媒體詢問王丹，今年是否可能前往香港？王丹笑說，「當然不能，我都這麼罵了，還能去嗎？」

天水圍的日與夜/夜與霧及金錢帝國

2009-05-17T23:33:00.001+08:00

天水圍的日與夜
這戲很悶嗎？不是。很好看嗎？又不是。電影的情節，不只適用於天水圍，它還適用於深水埗、旺角、灣仔、沙田等等，甚至是全香港。母親日出而作，日入而息，兒子放暑假，在家中無聊度日。母子間的溝通平淡，但雙方關係良好。誰說在悲情城市的單親家庭問題必定問題多多。

天水圍的夜與霧
把年前轟動一時的家庭滅門血案重演一次。老夫在大陸娶來少妻，妻子努力工作，夫卻終日無所事事，加上心術不正，以致悲劇發生。

金錢帝國
先看電影的英文名字 “I Corrupt All Cops”，就知是為了 “ICAC (Independent Commission Against Corruption)”而硬砌出來，究竟誰是”I”呢？不知道。這英文名讀起來十分不順口，很爛。
電影情節亦十分爛。電影主要描述六七十年代香港警方貪污風氣十分嚴重，到後來ICAC成立後，情況才得以大大改善。
究竟ICAC是如何打擊警方貪污及查案呢？對不起，電影的交代不多。ICAC成立時，引起警員不滿，甚至發生警廉衝突。那警廉衝突是如何平息呢？平息警廉衝突時引起什麼爭議呢？ICAC是如何搜集證據呢？面對警員的恐嚇，ICAC調查員又怎樣維持士氣呢？電影只是簡單的交代。
過半的電影時間，就是交代主角如何的娶了十個老婆及華探長是如何的意氣風發等。
影評說這是王晶認真之作。我則覺得乏善可陳，看TVB的廉政先鋒好過。

To Chief Executive

2009-05-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

I know it is late for me to write this, but I really want to say something regarding your remarks about June 4 in the Legislative Council question and answer session on Thursday.

Responding to a question raised by Civic Party legislator Margaret Ng on your stance of June 4, you said you understand Hong Kong people’s feelings about June 4.

But you went on to say that the incident happened many years ago, and the nation’s development has achieved tremendous results and brought economic prosperity to Hong Kong since then. You said you believe Hong Kong people will make an “objective” view of the nation’s development.

Perhaps you can think about this. Can you ask the protesters who march to Japanese consulate in every December to have an “objective” view of Japan’s tremendous economic development over the past decades, which brings benefit to Hong Kong, and forget about Nanjing Massacre?

Well, I have not expected, and will not expect, you will join the pan-democrats in suggesting the need to vindicate the incident. Your response to Ng’s question is what I have expected.

But what touches my nerve is the following statement you have made.

“My view represents the general opinion of Hong Kong people, and the opinion of the public will also affect my view,” you said. “The Hong Kong people I represent is the general Hong Kong people.”

Mr Chief Executive, you come to power after you have been elected by a committee consisting of 800 members. You are not elected by universal suffrage. How can you say that you represent my views? My views are different from yours. I do not share your views. Please just don’t impose your views on me.

You “apologized” after the Q&A session, saying you have used wrong words.

It is not a matter of language. I feel disrespected and offended by you.

豬流感

2009-05-02T11:57:00.001+08:00

昨天五一公眾假期，打算做完政府每天下午4:30的豬流感記者會後可以輕鬆收工，怎知就在下午4:30，在現場的新聞官說因為官員要開緊急會議，記者會要延誤幾小時。當下心知不妙。眾多高官也立即回政府開會。
結果：特首在晚上8:45才公佈香港﹝其實是亞洲﹞首宗確診個案，衛生官員在晚上9:30才公佈個案詳細資料，晚上10:45記者會才完結。快速地在凌晨12時完稿，但結果卻是白費心機。
--------------------------------

在首宗確診個案出現前，政府天天介紹如何防疫，說會提高警戒級別，又再推出全城清潔大行動。公司一位被稱為經驗老到的人，建議去找一些評論，說當局的反應過快過敏。
確診個案出現後，當局決定封鎖病者入住的酒店七天，進入酒店的人要被困酒店七天，接受醫學檢查。
據報，有旅客抱怨安排混亂。當中一對來自廣州的夫婦，昨晚因無法返回酒店而大發雷霆，丈夫不滿地說：「唔係咁大件事，都搞到咁大件事。」他認為封鎖酒店是一個混亂的措施。
另一位內地旅客張太與兒子及同事一行四人來港旅遊，傍晚返回酒店時才發現已被封鎖，其後在酒店外等消息。她表示不擔心受感染，因此不會進入酒店接受隔離，會按照計劃外出觀光購物，更形容「係你哋啲香港人懶緊張」。不過，張太反而擔心返回內地時，深圳政府知道她曾入住維景酒店會將她隔離。

我想問，什麼是過快過敏，六年前的香港，是如何的被沙士襲擊，你們知道嗎？如果當局在過去幾天都沒有工作，昨天才突然宣布首個病例，政府一定備受批評。
旅客門，要被隔離七天，當然不好受。若是我的影響行程及受心情，我也會發火。但現在疫情開始緊張，你們堅持外出觀光購物，其實很自私。要知道，六年前，就是有一位已感染沙士的中山大學教授，悄悄地來了香港，當局沒有防範，當然也沒有即時封鎖他入住的酒店，病毒就極速的擴散。結果：1,755人受感染，當中299人死亡，部份人成為單親家庭或孤兒，部份康復者因為類固醇的副作用而患上骨質疏鬆症。

差劣的翻譯

2009-04-11T21:41:00.001+08:00

對電視劇與電影的翻譯要求不多，但求讓觀眾理解劇中對話便可。
在看過的vcd及在優酷網自ER時，發現令人啼笑皆非的翻譯。

例子一
主角A說：「Have you got a job?」主角B回答：「I don’t have one。」
翻譯出來的竟是：
主角A：「你有工作嗎？」主角B回答：「我‧沒‧有‧一。」
例子二
醫生說：「I will be right back。」
翻譯版本是「我剛回來。」
例子三
醫生說：「What’s going on？」
你以為翻譯是「正在發生什麼事？」但字幕顯示的竟然是「正在繼續什麼？」
例子四：
But she is not even your baby.
但是她沒有妳的嬰兒。
例子五：
You really don’t want to give her away? Do you?
你不想給她活路，對嗎？
翻譯的意思與原文完全相反。
例子六：
We will admit him to the hospital.
我們將承認他。
把admit這個字譯為承認，沒有理解一字多義。
例子七：
You make me sounds like some kind of a nuts.
你讓我聽起來像個堅果。Nuts譯為堅果，沒有理解nuts亦指發瘋。
例子八：
Would you turn that thing off?
你將為那事情離開嗎？

錯失多不勝數。
一些醫療術語，很艱深，翻譯真的很困難。但以上的例子，絕對沒有醫學用語。

ER

2009-04-08T21:58:00.001+08:00

ER﹝港譯仁心仁術，內地譯急診室的故事﹞早前在美國大結局了。十五年的電視劇，以一次意外，把傷者送往醫院急救的畫面終結，喻意電視劇雖然完結，但生活仍然繼續。

近幾天，我也在優酷網重溫以前的ER。

這套劇，好像每一個角色都很吸引人。

我特別留意Abby，曾多麼希望她可以跟Carter一起。

MSN

2009-04-08T21:50:00.000+08:00

MSN為什麼一下子會變得正面呢？原因很簡單。
我如何捍衛我的私人空間呢？

禮儀師之奏鳴曲

2009-04-04T02:56:00.002+08:00

在外婆的喪禮上，那個殯儀經紀服務週到，樣樣打點妥當，但你不會很尊敬他，因為他只是很純粹地做一單生意。你記得，在守夜的那一天下午，那個經紀致電姨，以服務顧客的口吻提醒：「你今天記得下午三時來到嗎？」你不預期他悲傷，但對他的提醒感到莫名其妙。
你在想，從事殯儀業的人，見慣場面，麻木了。而且，他們天天面對死屍，怎麼說也不是一個愉快的工作。
看「禮儀師之奏鳴曲」後，多多少少也對殯儀從業員心生敬意，畢竟他們是幫助先人走最後一程。
電影主角在誤打誤撞的情況下成為「禮儀師」，負責在葬禮上清潔遺體和整理儀容等的入棺儀式。這份厭惡性職業，令主角被人看不起，太太也曾一度離開，因為丈夫接觸屍體，不潔淨。
那天，主角朋友媽媽走了，主角奉命執行任務，心懷敬意地為先人沐浴及化妝，再為先人帶上常用的頸巾，讓先人光鮮地走。主角的朋友在懷念先人之時，亦感謝主角。主角的太太亦改變了對「禮儀師」這負面工作的觀感。
主角的爸爸，拋妻棄子，離開三十年，使主角心生怨恨，連生父的樣子也遺忘了。但蒼天卻安排了主角要為父親送行，在替父親沐浴及化妝時，主角也回憶起父親年輕時的樣貌，落淚。
這電影，打動人心，但不造作。
電影中呈現的日式喪禮，莊嚴但平淡寧靜，讓人靜思先人的過去。我在想，為什麼中式的喪禮好像永遠都很嘈吵，要大鑼大鼓地奏樂，再有源源不絕的各種儀式。生人能夠在吵耳的樂聲中悼念先人嗎？

我的身後事
我，不期待風光大葬。喪禮最好在離世後幾天進行，儀式要簡單一點，祈禱祝福便可。喪禮在細小的場地進行便可。如果遺體化妝及得上電影「禮儀師」裡的水平，可以給我化一個妝。如果未及那水平，不必了，因為我覺得香港的遺體化妝，往往不像先人在生時的模樣。
火葬海葬皆可。

NUTS NUTS NUTS NUTS NUTS 忍忍忍忍忍

2009-03-21T22:45:00.001+08:00

最近，我深明做人做事要按部就班的道理，未懂行，卻急於去學跑，自己可能會有跳班的自滿，卻令其他人吃不消。

比如說，若你現在要介紹印度的歷史與其國父甘地，你最少也要閱讀幾本相關書藉及甘地自傳，甚至與印度人傾談，才可完成任務。你總不能夠因為去過當地旅行兩次就當自己是印度通吧！

如果你連基本的背景也不查考，便班門弄斧，只會使其他人知道你的虛實。你的談吐可能很有自信，舉手投足都好像在下達指令，你可能真的是一個深不見底的人，但人家就不信服。

我在這裡舉一個例子，為什麼你在反問為何要關注青年劫妓女時，卻那麼在意一個家庭的家事？又為什麼你在察覺不到股價動蕩的重要性時，卻在意六十萬元？

我從前在星球遇見的外人，的確，他們都有不了解的地方，而他們有時也很堅持己見，甚至自大。但他們最少在表面上聆聽你，你也可以嘗試在他們的言詞及你的見解中間上找一個平衡點。他們當然也有不濟的時候，但你也記得，他們亦曾經把你腐朽的工作化為神奇。而他們的想法，是有理由的。

在你面前，我好像什麼都不是，你根本不想知道我的想法，你只是在溫和地下達指令。

大展鴻圖

2009-03-14T00:39:00.001+08:00

敝館銳意改革，從外招來有能之士，要令業務蒸蒸日上。
有能之士花數月把脈，後決定每星期開班授徒，發施號令。
有能之士言詞內容實在，引經據典，直指門生的最基本職責，對外為挑戰權貴。人，不挑戰其他人，不能成大器。對內要與同僚及主事者唇槍舌劍，把真理越辯越明，把方針弄清。
言猶在耳，你躊躇滿志，欲匯報工作，預備詳細說明事情來龍去脈，以簡潔易明言詞解釋複雜內容，豈料對只反應一句，說他從網站中已大慨知道事情發展，後不再言語聲兒。
同僚告知，他確實與主事者詳談，但談的內容是要解釋盤古初開的背景，討論，仍然久奉。
挑戰權貴以成大器，有誰不想。你記得你嘗試過，但事後被勸導，要留意某同事的情況，前車可鑑。
得知主事者無意討論，你語塞，走開。在電腦前靜靜地以自認為合適的方式工作，這方式是否符合公司的期望，你不知道。完成後，你靜靜地離去，在路上細想號令如果不實行，頒發的意義何在。

一百萬零一夜 Slumdog Millionaire

2009-03-06T23:37:00.003+08:00

我很喜歡印度，有印度元素的電影一般都去看，包括Darjeeling Express，不太理會戲情介紹。
戲內戲外，一百萬零一夜都充滿戲劇性。戲外，低成本製作橫掃奧斯卡並各地票房，貧民區長大的小演員一夜成名後，不能再適應貧民區的生活，病倒了，因拒絕接受訪問而被父親掌摑，又被家人投訴態度囂張，令人關注這些童星以及貧童的身心健康。而貧民區的情況，可以想像，在電影熱潮過後，情況依舊。

戲內，一個在貧民區長大而且沒有受過教育的青少年，因為想吸引兒時情人，而參加百萬富翁遊戲。他志不在金錢，而是把遊戲時間拖長，讓情人在電視上看到他的機會及時間多一點，因此，他選擇不拿支票走人，而繼續遊戲。
遊戲主持人，多次強調主角只是一個在電話公司的茶水仔。

兩小時的電影，沒有悶場。
我想成為貧民區的富翁嗎？想，但要付出相當大的代價。
遊戲的問題與答案，往往勾起你的傷心回憶，你根本不想知道那些答案。
可幸導演的處理，令電影成為一部勵志的片，不傷悲。

夏菲米克的時代 Milk

2009-03-06T22:58:00.004+08:00

不論你是不是支持同志運動的人，夏菲米克的時代(Milk)的確是一部很出色的電影。

首先，辛潘(Sean Penn)的演出，真的令人動容。他完全投入了角色，很吸引，友說他好像「上左身」。那配角，夏菲米克的第一位情人，演出同樣出色。
電影是關於三藩市議員夏菲米克的一生。夏菲米克(Harvey Milk)是首位同性戀者打入政壇的美國人。他參選的主要目的，就是要為同性戀者爭取權益。
同性戀議題，又被淪為政客爭取支持及票數的工具。口口聲聲說支持平等的政客，投票時卻展現出另一張面孔。
夏菲米克參選的過程十分不容易。他三次落敗，但屢敗屢戰，第四次終於在選舉勝出。當選後，他要面對種種問題，其中最重要的，就是另一位議員要提出法案，要求公立學校開除同性戀或支持同性戀者的員工。這位議員的理由是，同性戀者會對兒童造成不良影響。
夏菲米克與這位議員展開多次辯論，法案最終不獲通過。
可惜，夏菲米克的成功，卻引來另一位議員的妒忌。這位議員，最終更因為覺得夏菲米克阻礙他的仕途而槍殺他。
但兇手好像沒有得到應有的懲罰，因為陪審員大多是保守人士，他們同情殺人者。最後，在辯方律師聲稱兇手是受劣質食品(junk food)的影響下才犯案，法院只判兇手五年監禁。

在香港，傳媒報導過，愛滋病的新個案中，有不少是男同性戀者，有醫生指出，這可能與群交有關。
然而，有沒有想過，愛滋病的原因究竟是不安全性行為或濫交，或是同性戀呢？而同性戀的罪是否比其他人嚴重呢？

告別﹝二﹞

2009-03-02T01:57:00.001+08:00

修改了幾天前貼的文章，那文章有錯字，一些句子的表達不清晰。如發現語病或不清晰地方，請指正。

到達靈堂後，即去看遺容。我可以想像，把化妝退下，她的面容依然安祥，像睡覺一樣。
二十五年前，外公去世，當時還是小學生的我，把手伸向外公的鼻，檢查他是否仍然在呼吸，他的去世是否錯覺。這一次，我只凝視遺體，外婆已死，是事實。
靈堂內，絡繹不絕，有人把喪禮當成社交場合，不斷地逗旁邊的人談話，向來哀悼的人說「你是貴賓」。有人在看遺容後，悲傷地離去。
喪禮以道教形式進行。家屬時而下跪，又要跟隨道士在吵耳的配樂中進行破地獄等儀式。
我專注地望向遺照，心中悲傷，但感恩。能夠有一位善待自己的外婆，是莫大的恩賜。
外婆在老人院去世的那天，是清早時份。修女致電姨，說外婆的情況緊急。在姨到達老人院前，外婆已走了。
她離開前我一直祈求，外婆可以過這一關，而即使她要走，我也可以見最後一面。想不到，連住在澳門的姨也不可以送她走。
想一想，這也是好的。由姨的住所去老人院要半小時左右。而我由香港去那間老人院，即使坐直昇機，也要兩小時。外婆在姨到達前離開，即是她病發辛苦的時間不太長。她走的真的很安祥。
瞻仰遺容一刻，眾人傷心淚下。因為，這是你跟她面對面的最後一刻，蓋棺以後，你只能在記憶及相片中見到她，而相片是死的。
工作人員把棺木放進泥土裡，眾親友把泥土灑在棺木上，依依不捨地送別。
一陣清風拂過，再見了，願安息。
葬後連續兩天，去獻花。今後，也只能以獻花這方式去探望。
感恩，我希望我能以同樣的態度在日後面對人的離去。

告別 ﹝一﹞

2009-03-02T01:56:00.001+08:00

修改了幾天前貼的文章，那文章有錯字，一些句子的表達不清晰。如發現語病或不清晰地方，請指正。

清晨六時未到，與一眾長者到南灣晨運。澳門的南灣，近似香港的維多利亞港。長者們面向大海做各式各樣的運動之餘，還在談天說地，交流家事，甚至談論你。晨運地方旁邊，有一系列的茶水檔。你在回想幾天前跟姨和外婆遊車河後，在這些茶水檔飲可樂，多輕鬆。
運動完後，步行十分鐘左右，到附近的營地街市買菜買雜物買生果，外婆準備為辛勞工作的子女弄一餐好吃的。你不喜歡濕滑的街市，想早早離去，但你沒有辦法，因為你怕回家的路上危險。
買菜後，去金冠或碧麗宮酒家飲茶。你點叉燒飯，你吩咐師傅把叉燒切得小一點，以免難入口，那個師傅真的把叉燒切得一粒粒，每粒小得像花生一樣。你生病了，她與你到附近的鄭貞根醫生看病。
之後，你跟外婆回家，再到舅父的廣告公司探望。下午時份跟姨和她的朋友吃飯，再去保健牛奶吃甜品。
就這樣，日日如是的過了六十天。當時還是中小學生的你，無憂無慮，不知民間疾苦。
然而，你不能把這樣的時光鎖住。你家的茶餐廳很忙，你暑假要去幫忙，再加上一些難以說明的家庭糾紛，你恨本不可能抽出六十天去澳門過那些淡如水的日子。直到茶餐廳結業後，你上大學，自由了，可以在考試後到澳門小休一星期左右。開始工作後，你想去印度上海新疆等地，不捨得把十多天的年假貢獻給澳門，因此，你只會在公眾假期或週未時才匆匆地去澳門，留數天甚至一兩天便走。
而且，物換星移，在急速發展的澳門，晨運的地方，被那些討厭而裡面空空如也的大樓佔據了，茶水檔當然也要讓路。酒樓及廣告公司經不起日益劇烈的競爭而結業了。鄭醫生的診所，招牌仍在，但人去樓空。外婆，也因年老，健康欠佳，不良於行，住進老人院了。只有那間保健牛奶仍屹立不倒。
外在環境改變，不打緊，因為不管賭業的發展如何繁盛，不管時間是如何緊迫，仍然可以見面溝通。你跟她去有電梯直達的聯邦酒家飲茶，抑或氹仔的洪記或大東飯店用餐，她都覺得欣慰。
你問：食物好吃嗎？
好。
今天開心嗎？
開心。
但是‧‧‧‧‧
2008年12月，外婆跌傷入院。之後因為皮膚發炎等其他症狀而不能出院。到年初三，在上海旅行的你突然收到姨的電話，說外婆心肺功能急降，有危險。兩天後，情況穩定。星期日去探望，她的樣貌精神，胃口好，但虛弱。她在笑，又明白你在說什麼，但好像沒有言語能力。
兩星期後，再去探望，情況依然，胃口依然好，但會在吃東西時睡著。她清楚明白你在叫她祈禱。醫生安排翌日出院，你想，既然可以出院，情況應該好了。
醫院探視時間快過，你跟她說：「要走了，遲一些再來看你。」你打算兩星期後到老人院看她。她的眼神有點迷茫，她應該想你留下。
星期四清晨，即2009年2月19日，正準備去採訪一單法庭新聞的你，正在打算今天早點下班後跟朋友去看電影的你，突然收到姨的來電，那來電顯示令人心知不妙。的確，姨的訊息簡短，但令你感到悲傷茫然錯愕。她說：「婆婆走了。她吃早餐後心肺功能急降，失救了。」
她怎麼出院幾天便出事呢？你去年9月赴澳，她仍然健壯。你把奧運馬術比賽的記者證掛在她身上拍照，她笑得好高興。12月跌傷手術後，身體也不弱。過了才幾個月，她已撒手人寰。
死亡，對生人來說的其中一種意義，就是你不能再跟亡者有什麼溝通聯繫。你別想去給他看你在旅途拍下的照片。你不能跟他重返以前去過的地方，想往事，甚至豐富那些記憶。即使有第三者跟你去這些地方，你有強烈的意欲分享你的過去，他們都無法去感受。
想到這裡，感到悲傷。

「柄」埋一邊

2009-02-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

這幾天，我在MSN仍舊跟人談話說笑。但不想跟熟識的人有任何面對面接觸。友在MSN說他抱歉沒有致電我，我說不打緊，因為我這幾天想獨處。

我照常上班，也照上出席語文課，但其他時間，用廣東話說，就是把自己「柄」埋一邊。原因不知為何。

我的思緒介乎想與不想之間，有一點點累，但沒有大哭，情緒亦末跌至最低谷。

今天，途經了添記唱片店，再去石硤尾去碼頭拿船票，但到碼頭才發現忘記了帶訂票發票。

之後，去一架咖啡店，想溫習語文，但太多人太吵了，回家去。

回家後，竟然去附近的店舖買了一個書櫃，執拾那凌亂的房間。

致電姨，她說她很累，沒有精神。

我說我會在喪事後多留澳兩天，她說即使在喪事後立即回港也沒有什麼問題。倘若太多人留下，她反而沒有精神。

她可能也想把自己「柄」埋一邊。其實，過去十多年，姨負起了大部份照顧外婆的責任，也真夠累。

我想我也會多留兩天，走一走。

A sad day

2009-02-19T20:32:00.001+08:00

Changeling, The Class and Milk are the movies I am interested in, and I have planned to see one of them with friends tonight.
A phone call in the early morning completely changed everything. My aunt in Macau called me in the morning, when I was about to leave home to report on a court hearing. I had bad feeling before picking up the phone. It is unusual for her to make a call in early morning. Her message is short but tearful. “Grandmother has just passed away in the elderly home peacefully after eating breakfast.”
My grandmother was weak when she was still in hospital on Sunday, but her condition remained stable that time. She was discharged and sent back to the elderly home, which service is good I believe. I had already anticipated that my grandmother, a woman of 86, would leave us when I received another phone call from my aunt during the Chinese New Year holiday that her cardiovascular function had suddenly deteriorated. What I had not anticipated was that she would be gone only days after leaving the hospital.
Inside the MTR to the court, I kept sending SMS to close friends about this undesirable news.

I want to be alone today, and maybe the following few days, keeping my mind in peace, and perhaps letting my mind be flashed back to the days when I was a kid.

I was born in Hong Kong, but I spent my first few years in Macau before starting my kindergarten education. I would go to Macau whenever there was long vacation, such as summer and Christmas holidays, until secondary two because of various reasons, including a family dispute. I was almost disconnected from her and Macau, except paying a visit in Chinese New Year, until I started my university education, when I had more free time to go to places I like.

I want to, and I need to, jot down how I spent my time in Macau for fearing that I might forget them some day when I get old. My grandfather, died during Chinese New Year more than two decades ago, was a nice man who loved his grandchild. I always begged him to buy toys and even bicycles for me, time after time. He really did that on some occasions. When he decided not to buy the gifts I wanted for not spoiling me, he would not let me down. Instead of just saying a plain “No”, he would pick up a box of matches and give the matches to me one by one. “One match is one dollar. I don't have enough matches for you to buy that.”

My grandmother spent most of her time with me whenever I was in Macau. She would prepare nice food. And as I am the youngest son of my mother, she devoted most of her attention to me. She was almost always on my side when I was in dispute with my brother and sister. I always went to Yum Cha with my aunt and her. She also took me to do morning exercise.

Some major changes happened to her over the past two decades. The family dispute I have mentioned before pushed her to be almost disconnected from one of her sons until recent years. Her other son is addicted to gambling and freed to other country. My aunt is the only person taking care of her.

She could not go to the community center, once her favorite pastime, after a leg injury. My aunt, as an educator, was busy with her school and could not spend too much time taking care of my grandmother who lives alone. My aunt hired several domestic helpers. All of the maids left because my grandmother was not an easy going person for strangers. Luckily, my aunt had arranged a good elderly home for her two years ago, and she seemed happy living there and chatting with roommates.

As a traditional woman, she always wanted her grandsons to get marry. “My birthday wish is that you get married and have a family soon,” she said in her birthday feast few years ago.

She suffered from another leg injury after falling down in last December. Conditions had been deteriorating since then. She was weak and reluctant to speak and move. But she would still smile when seeing me and my siblings.

It is really a sad day. Still, I truly believe that I cannot ask for more as 86 is long enough for a funeral to be called a “laughing funeral” 笑喪. I should be grateful that she left us peacefully without pain.

Thanks to my friends who sent me back encouraging message. Although I want to be alone today, the message really means so much to me.

被屈，憤怒到極點

2009-02-16T23:36:00.001+08:00

昨天去澳門探外婆。
在等候船隻的時間，發生一件令我憤怒的事。
船程延誤一小時，很無聊，於是我在候船期間看書及用手機上網。怎料在上網期間，坐在我對面的人突然去到我身後看我做什麼，之後私下說了一句：「扮晒野」，便走回座位，與女朋友私下談話。
他倆談話的內容，我聽得十分清楚，主要是男的說話，他很明顯是想我聽到他說什麼。從他說話的內容，我得知他們應該誤會了我偷拍了他們。他的說話極具侮辱性，包括「電車男/咸濕佬在偷拍」。並把iPhone對住我。
因為他們一直都沒有跟我對質，也沒有報警，所以我也沒有理會他們。怎料在上船前，那個男的突然向我說一句：「請你上youtube看。」
我當時有點火了。我向他解釋我沒有拍照，只是用手機上網。他不信。我跟他說報警。他竟然說：「現在隔了這麼長的時間，你已經刪除了相關相片了。你現在才建議報警及檢查手機。有沒有搞錯？」他說話的語氣，當然不好。
他還說：「你是不是想打架？」
我心想，你們一直沒有向我質問，我又何需主動地把手機給你檢查。而且，若你懷疑我偷拍，那麼你應該一早向我對質及找警員處理。但你沒有叫警方查明事又不跟我對質，就說我已偷拍並銷毀證據，完全是自己的假設。無證據，還在含血噴人。
我之後堅持向他說：「你剛才說你拍了我，我現在要報警你偷拍了我。」他可能想不到我會反告他，只拋下一句：「你行開。」便登船。
我有向船公司職員反映我想報警，但職員說船快開，而他們也不懂怎處理我的要求。
加上如果我不登船，我今天應該不能去澳門探外婆，所以我放棄了報警。
如果我只是去澳門玩，我應該會報警。我覺得，對這些人，再跟他解釋是沒有用，最好由警方處理。

The Way I Think

繼續台灣

整整一個月不在北京了／三台灣

整整一個月不在北京了／二烏坎村

整整一個月不在北京了／一越南

Compare and Complaint

祈禱的作用

迎來送往

無聊的過國慶日

請支持記者工作

立法會

Universal Studios Singapore

Lovely KL

你父在暗中察看

The year of 2010

趙連海Zhao Lianhai

我知道我的救贖者活著

我為什麼相信基督教

在皇崗想起北京

第三天，康西草原騎馬

在京城的中秋節 – Home Away from Home

主日學

可以做什麼

下一站：天國

願你們安息

爨底下川 Cundixiachuan

信樂團 - One Night In 北京

Goodbye team leader, and wish you all success

June 23

School life – Episode Five, Rise in chocolate ration

My church in Beijing

司馬台長城 Simatai Great Wall

Seek Ye First

令人想爆粗的宣傳片

性與關節 Sex and arthritis

Can I say our youngsters are spoiled nowadays.

School life – Episode Four, Nationality counts

School life – Episode three, Involuntary volunteer

School Life – Episode Two, Penalty

School Life – Episode One, Dictation

Team Leader

青島遊/ Qingdao/ Tsing Tao

搬家 Moving Apartment

Argument Two

Argument Two

計劃Planning

回香渡歲二Back HK for Lunar New Year II

回香渡歲 Back HK for Lunar New Year

Argument

罷吃

平安

蔡子強﹕需要世代對話，而非世代戰爭

三年又三年 Three years after three years

煮食 Cooking

寒流襲京 Cold snap

Some good restaurants幾家好餐館

景山公園Jingshan Park

Merry Christmas in Beijing

北京人

幾首林一峰的老歌

No choice

紫禁城(故宮)/ Forbidden City (Palace Museum)

關於工作 About Work

終於找到房子

住房

新開始

Snow雪

暫時的居所Temporary Residence

開始

Somebody Said A Prayer

我的工作是怎樣

政 府 的 手 可 以 伸 多 長 ？

清泉

Results a morale booster at Zheng Sheng

Books 書

深圳唱卡拉OK

More Songs by Gurrumul Yunupingu

Everyone makes mistake

Estate battle

Two songs by an Australian aboriginal singer

政府的手可以伸多長？

王丹：曾蔭權64發言不當不適任香港特首